


It Could Only Be You

by Appleeyy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Death, Hurt/Comfort, Police, Protective Siblings, Protective Uchiha Sasuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Appleeyy/pseuds/Appleeyy
Summary: Shisui and Itachi have been in a loving relationship for three years but everything changes after Itachi's father's funeral.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Itachi, Mitarashi Anko/Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Obito/Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 48
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Waking up every single morning next to Itachi was a dream to Shisui.

They had been living together for three years, and not a day had passed where Shisui didn’t feel like he was the luckiest man alive.

Their apartment was on the fringes of the city. Perfectly placed near a park and a bookstore that Itachi and him often frequented. Shisui had a knack for discovering hidden gems and was able to find tea shops, dango houses and other place to purchase sweets near their apartment. Their actual apartment was not too big, not too small. Just perfect. Itachi loved tending to plants, so their place was overflowing with succulents, ferns, small trees, peonies, basically anything Itachi thought he might be able to keep alive, he brought into their space. Shisui had even built a garden box just outside their kitchen window so Itachi could grow tomatoes for his beloved little brother. Surprisingly, their taste was very similar when it came to décor. Simple, elegant, but also dark and different. There were many different textures in the home, something Itachi prided himself on. He always spoke about how he didn’t want flat and boring. He wanted deep colors and exciting textures. Shisui was more than happy to oblige. 

Every morning was the same since they had moved in. Itachi was the early bird. He woke with the sun and tolled around the apartment tending to his plants. He would make a pot of tea for himself, and Shisui though Shisui never really partook, and then he would nestle into their giant couch, smothered in blankets and read until Shisui woke up. When Shisui woke up, he would make their bed, just as Itachi had shown him how he liked it and then head into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Itachi may be a genius, but his skills in the kitchen were subpar at best. Shisui never minded though. He loved to cook, ever since he was a child. Plus, he loved to dote on Itachi. When Shisui would enter the living room, half the time Itachi’s little face would peak up from behind the book he had his nose in. His round glasses on the tip of his nose and would give Shisui a sweet smile. The other half of the time, Shisui would find Itachi asleep with whatever book he was reading fanning out on his chest. Once breakfast was ready, the two would sit at their table and silently have breakfast. Shisui was by no means a morning person but being with Itachi almost changed that. They would gently touch each other. Whether it be holding hands, touching toes or simply leaning against each other, they soaked in the others presence until breakfast was done. Shisui would tend to the dishes, while Itachi returned to his reading nest. It had been this way from the start and Shisui loved every moment of it.

Waking up every single morning next to Itachi was a dream to Shisui. But some mornings were better than others.

When Shisui woke this morning, he was not surprised that Itachi was not in bed. He never was and today would be no different. Shisui glanced at his clock. 6:32AM. He sighed and pulled himself up. Sitting up in bed he rubbed his eyes before silently looking towards the door that led to their living room. 

Shisui rose, made the bed, and headed towards the living room. Just like every morning. This morning, however, Itachi was not bundled in blanket, sitting on the couch with a book on his chest and a cup of tea in hand. Itachi was sitting at a small table by their patio door staring out at the park across from them. Shisui slowly approached Itachi, reaching out to touch him softly.

Itachi did not move, but his eyes flickered to Shisui for a moment before he returned his focus to the outside.

“It’s snowing.” Itachi said after a moment of silence. Shisui nodded, eyes following Itachi’s gaze to the world before them. After a silent moment, Shisui looked at Itachi’s reflection. Itachi’s eyes were dull, his bags under the eyes were a deep purple that marred his pale face. His mouth was turned down and his hair was a matted mess, slung over one of his shoulders. He looked beyond tired and Shisui could see the faint tear tracks running parallel down his face.

“It’s unseasonably cold.” Shisui said after a few moments of silence.

Itachi sighed and turned to Shisui. Shisui knelt so that he was level with Itachi and allowed Itachi to bury his face against his neck as a gentle sob shook his thin body. Shisui ran his hands up and down his back in a comforting gesture, just letting Itachi cry for a few moments. Itachi composed himself slowly and rose to his feet.

“Sasuke will be here soon, I suppose I should be getting ready.” Itachi said softly, gesturing to his wild hair.

Shisui nodded. “Go take a shower, I will tend to Sasuke when he arrives.”

Itachi’s eyes were unfocused as he stared in the direction of their bathroom.

“Itachi,” Shisui said, causing Itachi to look down at where Shisui was still kneeling. “We will get through this. I know it is so hard right now, but we will get through this.” Itachi bit his lip, tears clouding his vision. Shisui quickly stood and embraced the smaller man and held him flushed to his chest while Itachi worked on calming down.

“I just worry. I worry about mother. I worry about Sasuke. I don’t want them to feel alone.” Itachi chocked out.

Alone. Shisui knew about being alone. His mother died when Shisui was only a baby. He never knew her, but his father was insistent that he looked and acted just like her. Shisui always hated when his father spoke of how similar they were. No matter how hard Shisui tried, he did not miss someone he had never met. His dad often looked at him with such sad eyes. It was almost unbearable. But he only had his father, so he couldn’t escape his sadness. His father was diagnosed with cancer when Shisui was 13. It was aggressive and he died four months after the diagnosis. Shisui was left all alone. No family. No nothing. He was too young to be alone and so he was coughed through the foster system until he aged out. 

Pushing his past from his mind, Shisui pushed Itachi back little so he could look in his eyes.

“They aren’t alone. They have you. And they have me. We are going to get through this.”

Itachi nodded and padded to the bathroom. Shisui thought about making him something to eat, even though he knew he wouldn’t. A soft knock sounded at the door and Shisui opened it to an equally depressed looking Sasuke.

“Hello, Sasuke.” Shisui said, stepping to the side to let Sasuke in.

Though Sasuke’s face showed evidence of earlier crying, his overall appearance was faring better than Itachi’s was earlier. Sasuke floated into the living room and paused once he noticed Itachi wasn’t there. He looked back at Shisui, who offered a small smile. “Bathroom.”

Sasuke remained silent and took a seat on the couch. Shisui decided that a hot cup of tea might be the only thing to help Itachi, so he began boiling water and milling about the kitchen. After a few moments, Sasuke was standing in the kitchen, simply observing Shisui.

“How are you doing?” Shisui asked and winced almost immediately at the look Sasuke gave him.

“Not great.” Sasuke muttered.

Shisui put his head down and continued to work. Of course, Sasuke and Itachi weren’t doing great. They were on their way to a funeral for Christ sakes. Their father’s funeral none the less. Shisui sighed, feeling Sasuke’s eyes on his back. He turned slowly to face Sasuke. Though Sasuke was Itachi’s little brother, they were not the same. Sasuke was aggressive and brash. He acted on impulse, where Itachi was more thoughtful and gentler. Sasuke had no problems letting Shisui know that he did not like him, and his distain towards Shisui was radiating off him as they stood in the kitchen.

Fugaku Uchiha, Sasuke and Itachi’s father, was Captain at their city’s police station. Shisui worked there alongside Fugaku and was working the night Fugaku went out on a typical patrol with his partner, Kakashi Hatake. The story was that they were called in for backup and were ambushed by an unknown group of individuals. They killed Fugaku and gravely injured Kakashi in the process. The risks of being a cop are well known, but it doesn’t make it any easier for the grieving family. Shisui was shaking when the call came in that an officer was down and that that officer was Fugaku. Shisui took it upon himself to inform Itachi, Mikoto and Sasuke himself, watching as the light drained from their faces.

Itachi and Fugaku never really saw eye to eye. Itachi was a pacifist and hated violence. He never wanted to be a cop. However, Fugaku and the entire Uchiha family dedicated their lives to policework. Once Fugaku heard about Itachi’s reservations once he was of age to join the police academy, they had a fallout. Itachi moved out, despite Sasuke and his mother’s pleading, when he was 18. Since then, Sasuke took Itachi’s place in the academy in hopes that his big brother would come back home, and things would smooth over with Itachi and Fugaku. And it worked, for the most part. Sasuke was more equipped to be a police officer than Itachi. He enjoyed the work. Itachi and Fugaku spent many days talking things over. Learning to love each other for who they were. Things were not as they were, but they were well on their way. Four years of opening and learning to love again came to a crashing halt the night Fugaku died. Shisui suspected that was why Itachi had taken it all so hard. Harder than even Sasuke who was known to be dramatic.

Sasuke was fiercely protective of his older brother. Though he was younger than Itachi by five years, he was taller and broader than his brother. They looked similar enough. Both drop-dead beautiful faces. Sasuke’s beauty was in the raw. He kept his hair, for the most part, unkempt and wild. His skin was sun-kissed, and his features were all sharp points. Itachi’s beauty was his entire being. Itachi was not just a beautiful face, but a beautiful soul. With his long eyelashes dancing over moon-pale cheeks. He appeared so delicate and fragile, perhaps that is why Sasuke was so protective.

Shisui maintained eye contact with Sasuke as Sasuke frowned at Shisui.

Once Shisui broke the news of their father’s passing, Sasuke had become enraged. He demanded to know everything about the case. Shisui refused for he was still in the police academy and not meant to be assisting on cases. Especially his father’s murder. This caused Sasuke to distrust Shisui. “Why won’t you let me at least look at the files?” Sasuke had screamed one evening when Shisui was over, speaking with their mother. Shisui refused to let Sasuke get near the case. It was way too personal. In fact, he was almost pulled from the case as well for the same reasons. Then Sasuke’s anger at Shisui for not letting him help bled into anger that the case had not been solved. Sasuke berated Shisui every time he saw him on why this case wasn’t solved and why there was no justice for their father. Before Fugaku had been killed, Sasuke and Shisui were on okay terms. They both bonded over their mutual love for Itachi. But since Fugaku’s death, Sasuke had completely pulled away from Shisui. He was angry and lashed out any chance he got. Shisui prayed that he would put it on the back burner today. Itachi and their mother couldn’t handle it.

Sasuke looked as though he would say something but thought better of it. He closed his mouth, letting his eyes fall to the ground.

“Want some tea?” Shisui asked. Sasuke nodded.

When Itachi emerged from the bathroom he looked a little more alive. Sasuke bounded towards his brother and hugged him for a long moment. Shisui rose from the seat he had taken watching the brothers silently console each other. When they finally pulled away, neither of them was crying. Itachi looked so tired and gave Sasuke a gentle smile.

“Your hair is still wet, dummy. You want to get sick again?” Sasuke said, snatching the towel from Itachi’s hand and vigorously towel drying it.

Shisui couldn’t help but smile as Sasuke began brushing and fawning all over Itachi’s hair. Once it was dry and thoroughly brushed, Sasuke opted to braid it nice and tight. 

“We should get going.” Shisui said softly. Sasuke nodded and gave the braid a gently tug. Itachi looked back at Shisui and Sasuke. He smiled but it did not reach his eyes.

“Let’s go.”

\--

The funeral was large. The entire police force came out to pay respects to their captain. People were coming up to Itachi, Sasuke and Mikoto to give their condolences nonstop. Shisui could feel Itachi getting uncomfortable. Itachi was a private person. He had a hard time showing emotion and affection, also had a hard time receiving affection. He was polite and sweet, but after an hour of speaking with guests, Shisui could tell he was drained.

“Come. Let’s get some air.” Shisui said once a guest had pulled away from Itachi.

Itachi looked at his mother, who was patting her eyes with a handkerchief. She smiled softly and nodded. Sasuke on the other hand looked annoyed but did not protest when Shisui began to lead Itachi away.

They stepped away from Fugaku’s grave and sat on some secluded benches a little away, just so Itachi could keep an eye on his brother and mother. Once they were sitting, Itachi let his weight fall against Shisui and let out a sigh.

“You okay?” Shisui asked, wrapping his arm around Itachi. It was mid-September, but it had snowed the night before. Itachi was bundled in Shisui’s largest jacket, but Shisui could still feel the slight shiver he tried to suppress.

“I’m okay.” Itachi said softly.

“I think we will be heading back to your mom’s house for dinner soon.” Shisui said absently, letting his eyes fall on the leaving guests.

“Hm.”

“We don’t have to go. We can leave now, if you want to.” Shisui said.

Itachi shook his head.

“No, I want to go.”

\--

Mikoto’s home was buried in flowers. Everyone who had even known Fugaku had sent flowers to her. She lived in the city in a large house with Sasuke. It was very traditional Japanese style home, something she had dreamed about owning since she was a little girl. Fugaku saw her dream and they built the house together. It was Itachi’s childhood home, he still had his childhood bedroom completely intact inside the house. Mikoto had spent the previous day preparing food, even though others, including Shisui, told her not to worry about cooking for the guests after the funeral. Mikoto rejected their concern, saying she needed to keep busy. The guests that came after the funeral were just close family, and those very close to Fugaku at the station.

They were just sitting down for dinner when the front door opened, revealing Kakashi Hatake. Everyone’s eyes drifted between Mikoto and Kakashi as he sullenly approached the dining table.

“Mikoto, I am sorry I am late.” Kakashi said, his voice sound rough and scratchy.

Kakashi and Fugaku had been great friends at the station. They were even partners. He was there the night that Fugaku had been killed, suffering his own terrible injuries in the process. His once unmarred face was now bandaged around the jaw. Apparently, a bullet had hit him square in the jaw. 

Mikoto looked stunned. She blinked at Kakashi before standing and racing over to him.

“Kakashi, I thought you were still in the hospital!” She cried out.

Kakashi smiled softly.

“I would not miss this. Fugaku was my friend. I wasn’t there for him, but I sure as hell will be there for you and your sons.” Kakashi said, his eyes rolling over Sasuke and Itachi.

Mikoto smiled and offered Kakashi a seat at the table.

Dinner was over and the guests had left, save for one Kakashi Hatake. He sat with Mikoto in the living room, speaking in hushed tones. He was consoling her and then she was consoling him. Itachi, Shisui and Sasuke were drinking coffee at the table. It felt wrong to leave before the last guest did. Sasuke was glaring daggers at the back of Kakashi’s head. Almost as if on que, Kakashi turned to look at the boys. He got up off the couch, grabbing hold of Mikoto’s hand as he did. Once they were both standing, he smiled a little and she returned the smile. Kakashi turned his gaze to Sasuke.

“Sasuke, could I have a moment?”

Sasuke looked shocked. He remained very still at the table; his mind was spinning. After a moment of inner debate, he rose to his feet and followed Kakashi to a more secluded part of the house. Mikoto approached Itachi and Shisui with a sad smile.

“How are you, baby?” She asked, cupping Itachi’s delicate cheek.

He leaned into the touch, raising his eyes to meet hers.

“I think the question is, how are YOU doing?”

She let out a sigh. 

“I’m just glad it’s over.” She said, taking a seat next to her eldest and pouring a cup of coffee.

“You are?” Itachi asked.

“Yes. Now I can start trying to move on. The funeral, the cooking, the interacting with the officers… It is so much. Just keeps reminding me that he is gone. And I’ll always know he is gone. I loved that man very much. But, Kakashi provided some excellent insight. Now I can work towards moving on.”

Itachi nodded and Shisui smirked. Sounded just like something Kakashi would say. 

Shisui and Kakashi worked together on the force, but they were by no means close. They sometimes teamed up on cases and because he was Fugaku’s partner, they often saw each other at family events, or holidays. Kakashi had been Fugaku’s partner since Itachi was 12, that had been ten years of partnership. However, Shisui was weary of Kakashi. He was a great cop, but he sometimes noticed a lingering eye on Itachi. It was never anything worth confronting him about. But when he noticed it, Shisui would feel slighted. Kakashi knew that Itachi and him were a thing. Fugaku had been surprisingly okay with their relationship and to repair his relationship with Itachi, he invited Shisui personally to all family events. He even took him under his wing at the station. Kakashi knew what Itachi was to him, and yet he still looked at Itachi as something more than just the son of his partner.

Sasuke and Kakashi returned from whatever conversation they had. Sasuke looked as though he had been crying, but the tension between them was gone. Sasuke even seemed to be in a better mood. He hugged his mother tightly before he moved to hug Itachi even tighter. 

“I think I should go to bed.” Sasuke said, pulling away from Itachi.

Itachi nodded and Sasuke took off towards his room.

“Ah! No hug for me?!” Shisui said, teasingly.

Sasuke paused to glare at him before he continued his way.

“Well, I think we should be on our way as well.” Itachi said getting to his feet. Shisui reached for his coat to offer it to Itachi when Kakashi interrupted them.

“Actually, I was hoping to speak to you too, Itachi.”

Itachi froze and so did Shisui. Shisui felt a lump in his throat and desperately tried to swallow it. He had to appear calm and collected.

“You go ahead, Itachi. I’ll entertain your mother until you get back.” Shisui said with a grin.

Itachi smiled at Shisui before turning towards Kakashi. Shisui immediately took notice of how ridged Itachi was in his movements. He took notice of how Kakashi’s eyes picked up the same rigid movements and his eyes almost smiled. Shisui sunk back to his seat, watching the much smaller frame of Itachi walk away with Kakashi.

Kakashi was Itachi’s first crush. Itachi had told him that a few years back. Shisui had noticed how awkward Itachi had been acting one day when he brought Shisui lunch. Kakashi was at the station and the two had exchanged a few words before Itachi approached Shisui’s desk, a blush on his face and didn’t immediately make eye contact with Shisui. Itachi explained that he had a crush on Kakashi when he was younger. Kakashi was ten years older and just seemed so cool. He explained that though he had outgrown the crush, the lingering embarrassment of falling for his father’s partner was still there. Shisui didn’t want to appear like an insecure, jealous boyfriend so he had let it slip right off his back. Itachi loved him. He knew this. Kakashi was just some embarrassing past crush. Nothing more. But still, seeing how Itachi acted around Kakashi made Shisui’s heart sink.

Mikoto watched with love as her son left with Kakashi. She turned towards Shisui, and grab hold of his arm.

“I think I should go to bed too. Have Itachi call me in the morning. I love you both.”

Shisui put his hand over hers and smiled.

“Good night.”

\--

“How are you holding up?” Kakashi asked, taking a seat on the couch in Fugaku’s study. Itachi remained standing, the room felt so much like his father. He hadn’t been in here for years. It was almost overwhelming.

“I am… holding up the best I can.” Itachi said with a shrug.

“Itachi, your father loved you very much.”

Itachi stared at Kakashi, tears in his eyes.

“I know that you two were working on a better relationship, but I want you to know he absolutely loved you. And he was so proud.”

Tears were now free-falling from Itachi’s eyes.

“I wanted to let you know that the night you father was killed, he wanted me to tell you that he was proud. He wanted to apologize for being so stupid in the past. He wanted me to tell you how much he loved you.”

Itachi brought his shaking hands to his face and buried himself in them. He let out a sob as he thought about his late father, instilling these final words to Kakashi. Kakashi remained on the couch for a moment before he got to his feet and brought Itachi in for a hug. Itachi tensed immediately, but after a moment, relaxed into the hug, letting his body shake as he sobbed into Kakashi’s chest.

“I promised him that I would protect you. All of you. And that is what I plan to do.”

Itachi remained silent. Kakashi knelt, so that his face was inches away from Itachi’s. He looked him dead in the eye, before he smiled and gave Itachi a kiss on the cheek. Itachi remained still, his doe eye glistening with tears. Kakashi pulled back, letting his thumb wipe away the remaining tears on Itachi’s cheeks.

“I will always be there for you.” Kakashi whispered.

Itachi was at a loss for words. His heart and his mind were overwhelmed with emotion. He took a small step away from Kakashi, letting the bangs that framed his face fall over his cheeks.

“Thank you, Kakashi.”

\--

Shisui didn’t mean to listen in. He had simply walked back to where Kakashi and Itachi were to wait on his boyfriend. He didn’t mean to listen in to what Kakashi was saying to Itachi. It was low and hard to make out most of it anyway. He didn’t mean to look through the crack in the door and see Kakashi place a kiss on Itachi’s cheek. But he did see it. He almost burst into the room to knock Kakashi out. But he was a trained cop. He leveled his breathing and returned to the kitchen. There was no point in adding more to this already heavy day. Shisui tried to calm himself down. He was just so angry. Angry at Kakashi. He wanted to throttle that man. Who did he think he was? Making a move on Itachi like that? He had just evened out his breathing when Kakashi and Itachi returned to the kitchen.

“Where did mother go?” Itachi asked, wiping a stray tear from his eye.

Shisui gave Kakashi a long hard look before answering. “She went to bed. Wants you to call her in the morning. Perhaps we should go home too?”

Itachi, on que, yawned. “Yes, that sounds good.”

Itachi turned to Kakashi, giving him a small hug.

“Thank you. For everything.” Itachi said softly.

Kakashi smiled, eyes flickering up to Shisui’s. Kakashi petted Itachi’s hair for a moment before Itachi pulled away.

“Good night, Itachi.”

\--

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Shisui stretched out in bed and was pleasantly surprised to feel Itachi’s body heat still sleeping next to him. Shisui smiled slightly and moved closer to his boyfriend. This was incredibly unusual for Itachi to still be in bed, let alone asleep, but yesterday had been so emotionally draining on Itachi that he wasn’t surprised that Itachi needed rest. Shisui settled next to Itachi’s sleeping form and watched the shallow breathing. Itachi had braided his hair before bed last night, and the braid was slowly coming lose and pooling around him. He looked so peaceful. Shisui’s heart fluttered as he nestled even closer, inhaling the sweet pine scent that was Itachi.

Then Shisui’s alarm went off. He felt Itachi jerk awake and he mentally cursed himself for not shutting it off when he first woke up.

“Sorry, Itachi… You should get some more rest.” Shisui said, reaching out and dragging his fingers along Itachi’s cheek. Itachi’s eyes fluttered open and rested on Shisui. He smiled very softly.

“I should get up.”

Itachi rose soundlessly and began to tend to his plants. Shisui smiled at him from bed for another moment before he hauled himself out of bed as well. Shisui had to go into the office today, he had taken time off to be with Itachi after Fugaku’s death. Shisui was anxious and newly inspired to get back to work and bring justice to Fugaku. Shisui was just finishing buttoning his uniform when he heard Itachi’s phone go off in the living room. Shisui blinked. It was 8:36 in the morning. Who would be calling Itachi so early? A part of Shisui wanted to march out into the living room and see, but he also wanted to give Itachi space. Itachi so enjoyed his peaceful mornings tending to their plants. He would hate to interrupt him. So Shisui ignored the ringing. Ignored when he heard Itachi answer. And ignored when he heard a small chuckle in the living room.

When Shisui finally made his appearance in the living room, Itachi was still on the phone. He was smiling and leaning against their front bay window, arms crossed over his body, shivering slightly. Shisui soundlessly moved forward, grabbing a blanket off the couch and draping it over Itachi’s frame. Itachi looked at Shisui and smiled, then continued to talk to whoever was on the phone. Shisui made himself a cup of coffee, trying to not listen in. But he was dying to know who was making Itachi smile and giggle so early in the morning. Shisui glance at the clock, mounted on their kitchen wall and frowned. He needed to leave. He sighed, chugged his coffee and approached Itachi to kiss him goodbye. Itachi noticed the time as well.

“Okay, well, just hold on a second. I’m saying goodbye to Shisui.” Itachi said, pulling the phone from his ear.

“Who is that?” Shisui couldn’t help but ask as he ducked down and captured Itachi’s lips.

“Kakashi.” Itachi said simply, as he gave Shisui a peck on the cheek.

Shisui froze. He felt his blood pressure spike and desperately tried to keep his anger under control. He let out a huff and straightened up.

“Why the fuck is he calling so early?” Shisui said under his breath.

Itachi blinked in surprise. 

“He just wanted to check in with me. We had a kind of heavy conversation last night. Plus, he had stayed with my mom last night and- “

Shisui crossed his arms causing Itachi to pause. Itachi looked uncomfortable. They stared at each other for a moment before Itachi brought the phone back to his ear.

“Kakashi, I have to go. Thanks for checking in.” And he hung up.

Shisui continued to stare at Itachi. He knew he was being unreasonable. Kakashi had known Itachi for a very long time. He had known Fugaku even longer. It was an innocent call. Shisui had known that Kakashi and Itachi had had some major conversation last night, but Shisui had respected Itachi’s privacy and not asked about it once they had gotten in the car. Kakashi was probably just passing along some final words of Fugaku. But why did Shisui feel so jealous and angry.

“Is something the matter?” Itachi asked almost nervously.

Shisui shook his head. He couldn’t allow himself to let his emotions get the better of him. Itachi was still healing and Shisui needed to support him.

“No.” Shisui said bluntly. “I’m going now.” Shisui turned away from Itachi, desperate to keep his emotions under control. He waved over his shoulder and left.

\--

Shisui couldn’t wait to get to the office and bury himself in work. He tossed open the door to his office and let himself fall haphazardly into his chair. He let his head fall into his hands and breathed out a heavy sigh.

“Oh shit, it’s already like that?”

Shisui looked up. Deidara stood in his doorway, cup of coffee in hand with a smirk.

“Good morning to you too.” Shisui said, jiggling his computer mouse to wake up his computer.

“I take it the last few days have been, rough?” That smirk again.

Shisui sighed and grabbed Fugaku’s folder from the pile on his desk.

“This is top priority.” Shisui said, shaking the folder at Deidara. Deidara sighed.

“Well, actually, Danzo is here. He might be top priority at the moment.”

Shisui groaned. Danzo was a politician in their town who had a personal vendetta against the Uchiha family. When Fugaku was running for captain, Danzo tried almost everything in his power to discredit Fugaku and make him and his family appear untrustworthy. Unfortunately, Danzo was not above bringing Fugaku’s sons into their political drama. Itachi had been blasted over the tabloids on more than one occasion, and Shisui loathed the man with all his being. 

“Why is he here?” Shisui muttered.

“He is here to assign a new captain.”

\--

The break room was teeming with officers. They were all milling about, talking to each other but paused when Shisui entered, Deidara on his heels. Shisui blinked. 

“Well, there he is.” A voice like gravel broke the silence.

Shisui’s eyes met Danzo’s and Shisui gave the fakest smile he could.

“Danzo, long time no see.”

Danzo smirked slightly. “How is Itachi and the family holding up?” There was no remorse in his voice.

Shisui bit his lip but said nothing. Danzo smiled at the small victory before turning his gaze to the other officers.

“I am here to appoint a temporary captain. Since Fugaku has passed, we need someone in here that the citizens can trust until the next election cycle.”

Shisui crossed his arms with annoyance. Danzo being involved with anything just put him on edge.

“I had selected Kakashi Hatake to take over for Fugaku. He is popular among the city and people trust him. I thought he would be an excellent temporary captain.”

Shisui couldn’t argue with that. Kakashi was well-known in town and people DID like and trust him. It was a good call. 

“However, Kakashi has denied the position.”

A grumble of disbelief rocked through the officers.

“He did suggest an alternative though.”

Danzo’s eyes then fell on Shisui and Shisui gulped.

“Shisui, you’re next man up.”

Shisui blinked, suddenly feeling very on the spot. He glanced nervously at Deidara; whose expression was just as surprised as Shisui felt. Shisui allowed his gaze to roam over the room and was met with nods of approval and friendly smiles. He finally returned Danzo’s gaze.

“I… uh…”

“Are you going to refuse me, too? Kakashi was so sure that you would jump at the opportunity.” Shisui gritted his teeth. He knew the implication behind his words. Danzo had made it clear that he thought Shisui was like a stray puppy that just followed Itachi and his family around. He had made comments on more than once occasion that Shisui was simply sucking up to Fugaku so that he could continue to fuck his son. Shisui finally let out a breath.

“I would be honored.”

Danzo’s expression did not change, he simply smirked at Shisui as the officers got to their feet to congratulate Shisui.

“As expected, Shisui. I would have much rather preferred Kakashi, but you are a great second choice.”

For whatever reason the words stung Shisui, but he remained silent.

\--

Shisui was exhausted when he finally pulled up to their apartment. He had been overwhelmed with settling into his new position, that he hadn’t had a chance to look over Fugaku’s case. He sighed as he put his car into park. Plus, he hadn’t reached out to Itachi at all. They had left things kind of weird this morning, and though Itachi was uncomfortable with a ton of affection, a text may have been beneficial. Shisui hoped Itachi would forgive his earlier jealousy and nervously entered their home.

He was immediately greeted with the warm smell of dinner and sighed happily. Itachi rounded the corner, wearing a frilly apron that Shisui had gotten him as a joke.

“You’re home.” Itachi said, a smile on his face, but his eyes seemed distant.

Shisui advanced on Itachi and hugged him close to his chest.

“I’m sorry about this morning.” Shisui breathed.

Itachi, who was tense in his arms, relaxed slightly before he returned the hug with just as much vigor. They stayed this way for a moment. Simply hugging in their entry. Eventually, Itachi pulled away from Shisui’s arms.

“I made you your favorite.”

Shisui smiled. It was over. Itachi hated confrontation and even though Shisui wanted to clarify what had happen this morning, Itachi had made it clear that he didn’t want to hear it. Shisui followed Itachi into the dining room to see their dinner on the table. 

“It smells great. Almost like you didn’t burn anything this time.” Shisui said with a wink.

Itachi rolled his eyes, but smiled, nonetheless. Itachi knew he wasn’t the best cook, but Shisui knew that if Itachi had gone through the hassle of preparing food just to get teased, then he must not have any lingering feelings about this morning.

Shisui poured himself a glass of wine, and then one for Itachi. Itachi glanced at the bottle and then back at Shisui.

“This is one of our expensive bottles, Shisui.”

Shisui let out a laugh.

“I know. We are celebrating tonight!”

Itachi blinked.

“What could we possibly be celebrating?” The inference being his father was still dead and his case still had no leads.

Shisui smiled a little.

“I made captain today.”

Itachi’s face broke into a surprised grin.

“That’s so great! Shisui! Why didn’t you call me?”

Shisui shrugged, taking a long sip of wine.

“I got busy pretty quick. Your father had a lot of things going on.”

Silence.

Fugaku had been dead for only a month, but Itachi seemed pretty okay talking about him. Especially in recent days.

“He would be proud.” Itachi said simply.

Shisui smiled at Itachi, reaching across the table to hold his hand.

“He was proud of you too.”

Itachi blushed slightly. “That is what Kakashi told me.”

Shisui froze for a moment and slowly pulled his hand back.

“He did?”

“Yes, last night. He told me that my father wanted me to know that.”

Shisui stared at Itachi as tears threatened to spill over his pale cheeks. He smiled at Itachi, reaching forward once more to rub his eye.

“I love you, Itachi.”

“I love you too.”

\--

Fugaku was a man who apparently took on anything. That is what Shisui discovered in the following weeks. Fugaku was buried in work, which now meant Shisui was too. Shisui stayed late every night and often came in on his days off. He wanted to settle everything Fugaku had open, before he threw himself into what was on the forefront of his mind, Fugaku’s murder. Because of this, Shisui and Itachi spent less time together. Itachi was about to head back to college after taking a leave of absence so he would be swarmed with medical work soon. Shisui sighed. He missed Itachi so much. Often times he would come home and Itachi would already be asleep. He looked out his window to watch as the rain pelted against the earth below. Just a few more weeks, and then his workload would be normal.

Plus, Kakashi was due back in a matter of days. And while Shisui was not looking forward to seeing Kakashi, he was excited that there would be someone to handle all this work. Kakashi was Fugaku’s partner. He would surly cut this workload in half.

Shisui pushed back from his desk, rubbing his eyes.

“Dude, you aren’t looking too hot these days.”

Deidara again stood in his doorway with a cup of coffee and a smirk on his face.

“I’m just slammed.”

“Kakashi will be back. He will help. But you should take the rest of the day. You reek and I’m tired of seeing you kill yourself over paperwork.”

Shisui stared at the mounds of paperwork and then back at Deidara.

“A half day won’t kill anyone?”

Deidara nodded. “I’ll hold down the fort here, captain!”

Shisui rose to his feet and grabbed his coat. He glances at the clock. It was 12:35 and Itachi would be home. Maybe they could get lunch together. Spend a little time together. Shisui smiled and walked briskly to his car.

\--

Shisui froze outside his front door.

Inside he could hear mumbling. One voice was definitely Itachi’s. The other? Who was Itachi talking to? Shisui felt his heart speed up a bit. He quickly unlocked the door and pushed his way in. There was a sound of scrambling before the unknown voice yelled out.

“Who is there?”

This angered Shisui. Who exactly was asking who he was in his own home? He rounded the corner to their dining room to see Itachi and Kakashi who had gotten to their feet when the door crashed open. Shisui blinked. He felt anger prickle at his heart as he glared at Kakashi.

“Oh! Shisui! You scared us!” Kakashi said with a lazy grin. His face was healing up nicely, but the bullet must have injured his vocal cords for his voice was much deeper than Shisui remembered. Shisui looked at Itachi who had composed himself and was smiling at Shisui.

“Kakashi brought me some lunch. Are you here to eat? Kakashi brought a lot, please have some with us.”

Shisui looked at the bowls of soup on the table. They were having lunch together? Shisui felt a blinding desire to slam his fist into Kakashi’s face. He took a shaky breath.

“No, I… uh, forgot something. I have to go back to the office.” Shisui groaned internally. This was so like him. Run away from any emotional problems with Itachi.

Itachi looked a tad hurt.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that…”

Kakashi eyed Shisui and Itachi. He sighed.

“Why don’t I just see my self out? Itachi, wonderful to see you.” Kakashi said, gathering his bowl and bringing it to the sink. Shisui stayed where he was and watched as Kakashi rinsed the bowl and place it in their dishwasher. Kzkashi turned to Itachi and smiled before he whirled around to face Shisui.

“Oh, and congrats on captain!”

Shisui wasn’t sure if it was genuine or not. He hesitated, and Kakashi brushed past him and out the door. Shisui stood blinking after Kakashi, before finally turning to Itachi who had started to clean up his place at the table.

“Care to explain?’ Shisui hissed.

Itachi glanced up, confusion on his face.

“Explain what?”

“Why you were having lunch with Kakashi?”

Itachi brought himself up, standing as tall as he could and crossed his arms.

“What are you implying, Shisui?”

Shisui shivered slightly but said nothing. he met Itachi’s glare and gave him one back.

“I know you are not trying to suggest that something sneaky has taken place here.” Itachi said, narrowing his eyes.

Shisui felt embarrassed suddenly. Was he being stupid? He thought about just ignoring how he felt or taking a moment to consider the facts. But for whatever reason, he pushed forward.

“It looked like a lunch date to me.”

Itachi was suddenly in Shisui’s face, anger radiating off him.

“Is that what you think, Shisui? Really?”

Shisui didn’t know what he really thought at that moment. All he knew was Itachi was looking up at him with his beautiful doe eyes, narrowed slightly. His perfect mouth was downturned, and he looked so angry, but also hurt. Shisui took a step back, running his hand through his curly hair. Itachi took a step forward, challenging Shisui to continue. Shisui knew he should just take a breather. Let himself calm down. But Kakashi was here, in his home. He brought Itachi lunch. He was making Itachi smile and laugh. And those were all good things, but coming from Kakashi…

“I don’t like that you are always flirting with Kakashi.” Shisui said after a moment. It was a stupid thing to say.

Itachi’s face fell to a look of utter shock.

“Flirting?”

“Yes, your flirty phone calls. Flirty lunches. I’m your boyfriend, remember?” Shisui was kicking himself internally.

Itachi pulled back, face tinted pink in frustration.

“He is just being my friend, Shisui.”

Shisui snorted. Some friend. It was then that the idea that maybe Kakashi had rejected becoming captain and recommended Shisui because he knew the workload. Maybe Kakashi knew that Shisui would be away from home and that is what he wanted? The rational side of Shisui knew that that was utter bullshit. But the sensitive, emotional side just knew he felt insecure and missed Itachi and just wanted to be with him and make him laugh and smile. Shisui let out a huff.

“I’m not doing this now.”

Itachi blinked.

“Then when, Shisui?”

Shisui said nothing as he turned to leave the apartment.

\--

Shisui slumped against his chair, eyes reading and rereading the same sentence in his never ending pile of paperwork over and over. He fucked up. He knew he had fucked up. He should call Itachi, apologize. But his stupid pride and the wildly emotional part of him refused. His phone buzzed. He looked down.

Itachi.

This was his moment. Answer the call. Calmly explain his feelings. Reconcile with Itachi.

Shisui rejects the call.


	3. Chapter 3

The following weeks were incredibly strained for Itachi and Shisui.

This was something that Shisui had never experienced before, especially with Itachi. They had had small arguments in the past. But Itachi was so intelligent and emotionally intelligent that he was able to lay out precisely why he was upset. And Shisui was so understanding and affectionate that their arguments never lasted more than a few hours.

However, this wasn’t the case. When Shisui finally returned that night, Itachi had completely shut down. He barely spoke to Shisui and avoided any contact whatsoever. This fueled Shisui’s insecurity and anger at the situation. Though Shisui liked to think of himself as a stable, sane adult, he reverted to a petulant child and ignored Itachi right back. They went to bed the night with the biggest space there has ever been between them in bed.

The following days, neither one of them spoke much. Shisui, thankfully, worked early and late, so when he did see Itachi, it was just silence. Itachi was preparing to go back to med school and was withdrawing more and more. Now they barely spoke to each other, other than a few words. Shisui would come home to Itachi already asleep, and Shisui would just let him sleep without pulling him close. Itachi would rise even earlier than Shisui, and isolate himself in their den, mulling over medical books and drinking tea, alone. It was awful.

Shisui knew he had to do something. He had to talk to Itachi. He could tell Itachi was getting stressed. In the early mornings, Itachi would be hunched over his textbooks, a deep crease in his brow. Normally, Shisui would kiss that anxiety away. But now he watched from across the room as he made himself coffee. Shisui knew he was being unfair to Itachi. But he felt as though Itachi was being unfair to him too. So Shisui held strong and refused to be the one to bring up Kakashi again.

Kakashi. 

It didn’t help that Kakashi was back in the office, rearing to go on Fugaku’s case. Shisui wanted to pull Kakashi from the case. Tell him it was too personal. But, he couldn’t. Kakashi’s mind was clear and he provided insight to the case, since he was there when Fugaku was killed. Shisui allowed Kakashi to remain on the case but wanted nothing more than to be the one to tell Itachi that they got the people who killed Fugaku. 

Kakashi was more obnoxious than before. It was almost like he could sense the rift between Itachi and Shisui. Shisui knew that was foolish. Shisui didn’t exactly confide to anyone at work about his issues with Itachi. Maybe Itachi called Kakashi and told him about what was going on? The thought angered Shisui and on more than one occasion, he almost left work to confront Itachi about it. But he didn’t. He just pushed it down, fanning the flames of anger towards Kakashi and his insecurities with Itachi.

Kakashi did take a major chunk of Shisui’s workload, which was helpful. In fact, it was the first night since Shisui became captain that he was headed home at 5. Shisui thought that tonight would be a good night to talk to Itachi. Itachi had just started school again and maybe they could go out to dinner to celebrate him being back and just talk. Get back to normal. Shisui pulled on his coat and shut off his lights. He meandered down the hall, pausing out front of Kakashi’s office. Kakashi was hunched over his desk, busy doing something when he noticed Shisui. His eyes darted up, a smile and then he sat up.

“You are heading home, captain?”

Captain. Something about the way he said it pissed Shisui off.

“Yes. You all good here?” Shisui said, eyes rolling around Kakashi’s messy office.

“Yes, just working on some leads is all.”

Shisui blinked.

“The Fugaku case?”

Kakashi said nothing but maintained eye contact.

“Care to tell me?” Shisui started.

Kakashi help up his hands and laughed.

“Nothing to report yet. I was the one who was with Fugaku, just trying to remember everything I saw. Pretty hazy though. Slammed my head into the ground one too many times.”

Shisui nodded, shifting awkwardly.

“Well, let me know if you remember anything.”

Kakashi smiled.

“Yes, sir.”

\--

Shisui quietly let himself into the apartment and was met with the sight of Itachi napping on the couch. A bottle of wine was sitting on the coffee table, and a half drank glass next to it. Shisui smiled to himself. Itachi loved his wine but must be exhausted if he passed out before finishing a glass. Shisui moved towards Itachi, pausing when he got close. He felt almost uncomfortable. Since their fight, they had kept their distance from each other. Being this close to Itachi felt like being close to a stranger. Shisui frowned and sat next to Itachi. The dip in the couch caused Itachi to stir and open his eyes. 

“Shisui?” Itachi yawned, pushing himself up and rubbing his eye.

Shisui smiled softly at Itachi. Itachi tensed slightly.

“I want to be normal.” Shisui said with a sigh. “I don’t want this,” he motioned to the space between them. “Anymore.”

Itachi watched Shisui carefully. His face didn’t give away to any emotion. He simply stared at Shisui with wide blank eyes. Shisui gulped.

“Shisui, you don’t trust me.”

Shisui snapped his mouth shut. His initial reaction was to tell Itachi that wasn’t true, but deep down, he knew that it was.

Itachi watched Shisui’s reaction for a moment before continuing.

“I feel like I have never given you a reason to not trust me.” A sad look flashed across Itachi’s face.

Shisui bit his lip and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

“You haven’t…” He acknowledged after a moment.

Itachi didn’t say anything. His eyes looked hurt, but his face was stone cold. Shisui fiddled with his fingers and let his gaze fall.

“We can’t go back until we fix this lack of trust.”

Shisui looked back up at Itachi and Itachi looked so tired and all Shisui wanted to do was kiss him and pet his hair and tell him it would be okay. But Shisui couldn’t help but feel so insecure. 

“Kakashi isn’t going anywhere, Shisui.”

Shisui frowned.

“And that’s the issue, Itachi.” He snapped suddenly.

Itachi’s features seemed to fall even more. He looked at Shisui with such tired eyes.

“Shisui, Kakashi has been a part of my family for many years. He was my father’s partner. He looks after my mother and Sasuke. I can’t send him away from my life because he is a part of my mother’s and Sasuke’s too. They need him.”

The words stung and Shisui recoiled, pulling away from Itachi. The familiar distance between them settling in.

“I understand that.” Shisui began. And it was true. He did understand that Kakashi was a major part of Itachi and his family’s life. He had been a part of their life for a long time. Kakashi was important and served as a tie to their late father/husband. Shisui knew this. But Shisui also knew that the morning after the funeral, Kakashi made Itachi smile more brightly than Shisui had since his father had died. He knew that Itachi was giggling over the phone with Kakashi, a sound that Shisui had been unable to make happen for a long time. Shisui bit his lip, his hands shaking.

“I just can’t handle it.” Shisui said finally with a shrug.

Itachi blinked at him. His face was expressionless. He sighed and got to his feet. Shisui watched as Itachi downed his glass of wine and gathered his textbooks. Itachi left the living room without another sound. Shisui looked down at his trembling fingers. He wished he could just deal with it. But every time he heard Kakashi speak or caught a glimpse of him, he couldn’t help but imagine Itachi fantasizing about him. And it was so stupid. Shisui got to his feet and followed Itachi into their room. He paused in the doorway, watching as Itachi packed a bag.

“What are you doing?”

Itachi paused and looked over his shoulder at Shisui.

“I think I’m going to stay the night with my mother and Sasuke.”

Shisui began to feel panic flicker in his stomach. 

“Itachi, please… Don’t go.” Shisui stammered, stepping forward and grabbing hold of Itachi’s fragile wrists. Itachi said nothing but stared at Shisui’s hands.

“Shisui, I just think it is for the best. I don’t want to fight again.”

Shisui felt tears pool in his eyes. He couldn’t believe it. What truly scared Shisui was how calm Itachi was. There was zero emotion behind his words. Itachi pulled out of Shisui’s grasp and zipped up his bag. He turned back to Shisui.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Itachi stepped forward and placed a small kiss on Shisui’s cheek before he grabbed his bag and left. 

\--

Shisui took a mental health day the next morning. Deidara seemed relieved to hear it and Kakashi was adamant that he could keep everything under control. Shisui wanted to make Itachi’s homecoming special. He wanted to fix things once and for all and intended to do just that. Itachi had class today and would be home around 3. Plenty of time to get Itachi his favorite food and some dango.

Shisui dressed for the brisk autumn day and headed out. He got coffee and was making his way to Itachi’s favorite dango shop when he heard someone running up to him. Shisui whirled around and was face to face with Sasuke.

“Hello, Sasuke.” Shisui said, immediately feeling Sasuke’s fiery gaze.

“Shisui, you idiot, what the hell did you do to Itachi?”

Shisui blinked. “Nothing.” A lie.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Sasuke was dressed in his high school’s uniform, his backpack hanging over one shoulder. He crossed his arms and eyed Shisui with a frown.

“Itachi came and stayed with us last night. He seemed pretty upset.”

Shisui frowned.

“Oh… Well, Itachi and I…”

“What did you do to him?” Sasuke growled again.

Shisui shook his head, stuffing his free hand into his coat and shivering slightly.

“Itachi and I have been snapping at each other a lot is all. I’m stressed and Itachi is stressed too. He wanted to stay the night to just get a breather is all.” Shisui hoped that was all.

Sasuke frowned deeper.

“You sure about that? Itachi was almost in tears. Didn’t seem like some simple stressed out bickering.”

Shisui shifted awkwardly under Sasuke’s gaze.

“We are fine.” Shisui insisted. Shisui hoped.

Sasuke’s eyes fluttered down to his phone, he frowned and looked back up to Shisui.

“I don’t trust you, Shisui. I don’t like how you made Itachi feel yesterday. If you can’t be kind to him and love him, then leave. He doesn’t need your constant bullshit”

Shisui nodded, frowning slightly.

“I love your brother. I’m trying to make everything right with us right now.” Shisui said, desperately feeling the need to defend himself.

Sasuke eyed Shisui lazily and sighed. He stuffed his hands into his uniform pockets and turned around.

“I don’t trust you, Shisui.” Sasuke muttered and then made his way towards school. Sasuke paused and looked back at Shisui. “You better make things right.”

\--

Itachi pushed the front door open and paused upon seeing Shisui standing in the living room. Shisui smiled so genuinely at Itachi that it hurt. This had been the first night they had spent apart and Shisui almost couldn’t keep himself from rushing forward and hugging Itachi. Itachi’s face remained impassive, an eyebrow raised.

“Itachi, I am so sorry. I have been so foolish. I love you.” He pulled out the box of dango he had gotten this morning and offered it to Itachi. Itachi’s face was still. Shisui moved towards him, feeling his legs tremble with nerves.

“Itachi, you are the most important person in my life. I don’t want to ever make you feel like you aren’t or that I don’t trust you.”

“Trust is important to me, Shisui.” Itachi began, setting his bookbag on the ground.

“I know.” Shisui choked out. “And I am so sorry that I acted that way. I DO trust you. I was wrong.”

A few moments of silence before Itachi closed the space and embraced Shisui. They hugged for a long time, softly kissing and rubbing each other’s backs.

“I want to prove to you that I trust you, baby.” Shisui said, inhaling Itachi’s hair.

Itachi remained quiet, eyes glazed over. Shisui shifted Itachi in his arms, pressing his forehead against Itachi’s. Looking deep into his eyes.

“I love you, Itachi.”

“I love you, Shisui.”

\--

The next few weeks were wonderful. Shisui and Itachi slowly started making their way back into their normal. Itachi would rise early, make tea and read. Shisui would wake up and prepare breakfast. They would silently eat while holding hands and then head off to their respected responsibilities. Shisui was adamant to show Itachi that he trusted him, so he refused to let himself get riled up when Kakashi was brought up.

But the thing was, Itachi went out of his way to not bring Kakashi up. If Kakashi would call, Itachi wouldn’t answer. If Kakashi visited Mikoto and Sasuke, Itachi would not go over to the house. Itachi was straight up avoiding Kakashi and a part of Shisui was ecstatic. But the other part knew that that was right. He had to prove to Itachi that Itachi didn’t need to hide himself or cut someone off simply because it made Shisui uncomfortable. Shisui wanted to tell Itachi he was free to do what he wanted, but he couldn’t find the words.

It was the Police Officer’s Holiday Party when Shisui got word on some leads in another case he was leading. He was standing in his office, adjusting his tie, getting ready to pick Itachi up before they headed over to the party when he got the call. Shisui grumbled to himself, he would have to miss the party. He sighed, sitting back in his seat when Kakashi stopped by his office.

“You going to head out soon?” Kakashi asked mildly.

“Actually, no. I got a call. There is something I need to investigate. Captain and all.”

Kakashi nodded and Shisui stared at him for a moment. Suddenly Shisui had an idea. Maybe Kakashi could take Itachi? Itachi always loved the holiday party and it would be the first one since Fugaku had passed. Mikoto and Sasuke would be there, so Itachi should be there as well. Plus, maybe this could show Itachi that Shisui DID trust him. Shisui nervously cleared his throat.

“You know, I’m going to be stuck digging through these leads. Maybe you would like to accompany Itachi to the party?”

If Kakashi was surprised, he didn’t let on. He simply raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I can let Itachi know. If you want.” Shisui said, desperately trying to be nice.

Kakashi smiled. 

“Yeah, I’ll go pick him up. Come join us later if you have time.” Kakashi said, already making a break for the door.

“Shisui stared after Kakashi for a moment before he pulled out his phone and called Itachi.

“Running late?”

Shisui smirked. “That’s the hello I get?”

He heard Itachi chuckle over the phone and Shisui’s heart felt so full. He smiled lovingly to himself.

“Itachi, I have so bad news.” A pause. “I got a call about something I need to check out for a case I am leading. I can’t make it to the holiday party tonight.”

Shisui could feel Itachi’s disappointment through the phone.

“Oh, okay- “

“But I did have a solution you are interested.”

Another pause.

“I asked Kakashi to pick you up and take you, in place of me.”

“Shisui, are you sure?” Itachi asked after a long moment of silence.

“Yes, I’m sure. I trust you.” Shisui said, and he meant it.

“Okay… if you are sure…”

“Yeah. Kakashi is like family. Plus, your mother and brother are going. It only makes sense that Kakashi take you.”

“I won’t have as much fun without you.”

Shisui smiled wildly at that.

“No, you won’t. But I’ll try to make it later.’

“I hope you do.”

Shisui smiled.

‘Okay, I love you, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you. And Shisui…?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

Shisui felt a little guilty at that. He really should have done this sooner. He smiled softly.

“Of course. Have fun tonight.”

\--

Shisui knew by the time he got to the party; it would be winding down. He wasn’t even sure if Itachi would still be there. Itachi often got sleepy and would ask Shisui to drive him home halfway through these things. Shisui was just jogging up the stairs to the event when he caught sight of Itachi and Kakashi a little way away. They were standing close to each other smiling and talking. Jealousy started to flow through Shisui’s being, but he put a lid on it. It was innocent. Just two friends talking. He started making his way towards the two, when a group of officers came out and spotted Shisui, Deidara being one of them.

“Hey, man! You made it! It’s getting kind of boring here, we were just about to make our way to the tavern. You should join us!” Deidara said, slightly slurring his words. An open bar was his weakness.

“Oh, maybe later. I’m just trying to see Ita- “Shisui cut off when he noticed that Kakashi and Itachi were no longer standing outside. He whirled around trying to see where they went. Deidara eyed Shisui thoughtfully.

“Well, invite stands. Bring Itachi and Kakashi if you want.”

“Ohhhhhh, Kakashi and Itachiiiiiiiiii!” Sasori giggled from behind Deidara.

Shisui looked at Sasori and frowned. Deidara shoved Sasori.

“Kakashi is so in loveeeeee.” Sasori said with a hiccup.

Shisui frowned. Deidara rolled his eyes.

“Don’t listen to this drunk.”

“I’m not drunk!” Sasori snapped. He crossed his arms and brought his chocolate brown eyes to meet Shisui’s charcoal ones.

“Kakashi’s making all the moves on you man, Shisui. Shittttt, I’d be mad as hell.”

Deidara shoved Sasori and glanced at Shisui who was pink with frustration.

“Dude don’t listen to Sasori. Kakashi has been nothing but respectful to Itachi and his family.”

“What bout all the dancing?” Sasori mumbled, eyes un-focusing.

“Dancing?” Shisui’s throat tightened.

“It’s a fucking party. People dance. We danced, you idiot. Doesn’t mean anything.” Deidara said, thumping Sasori against his forehead. Shisui felt as though his world was spinning. The jealousy he thought he had buried was back and much stronger. He wanted to attack Kakashi. He felt so angry. He pulled away from the two officers, determined to find Itachi.

Deidara reached out, grabbing hold of Shisui’s arm. “Just take it easy, dude. Everything is okay. I would tell you if I thought something was happening. It was an innocent night. Don’t be stupid.”

Stupid.

Stupid.

Shisui was about to be very stupid. He suddenly caught a glimpse of Itachi and Kakashi exiting the building. It appeared that they had gone in for Itachi’s coat. Shisui yanked his arm from Deidara and marched towards Itachi and Kakashi. Itachi had his head down and was reaching into his coat for something. Kakashi was hovering close to Itachi, laughing at whatever Itachi was saying. Shisui approached quickly, causing Kakashi to glance over.

‘Hey! You made it!” Kakashi said with a grin.

Shisui didn’t think. He just threw a punch. The punch connected right along the scars on his jaw, causing Kakashi to stumble backwards in pain. Itachi’s eyes were wide as he watched Kakashi stumble back.

“Shisui! What are you doing?!” Itachi said.

“What are you doing, Itachi?” Shisui growled, moving so that he was blocking Kakashi from Itachi’s line of sight.

Itachi’s mouth was open and he looked confused.

“I heard you had quite the night.” Shisui spat, glancing over his shoulder at Kakashi who was straightening out his coat.

“What’s going on out here?” A voice called out, causing all three to turn and look as Sasuke and his mother approached the group. Shisui felt his body become tense when he saw Deidara and Sasori approaching as well. Shisui was momentarily at a loss for words. Only when he saw Itachi look at Kakashi with worry did he snap again.

“I thought you were just friends?” Shisui said, voice laced with sarcasm.

Itachi looked taken aback.

“Shisui, please…” Itachi looked to his family and the officers that had gathered. “This is not the place.”

Shisui ignored Itachi’s plea, spinning around to glare at Kakashi, who looked undisturbed.

“You.” Shisui hissed.

“You fucking bastard. You think I don’t notice what is going on? I notice. And you…”

Kakashi gave Shisui an unamused look which just made Shisui even angrier.

“Shisui please! Just stop!” Itachi snapped, looking a mixture of hurt and angry.

“Shisui, you idiot, you’re upsetting Itachi!” Sasuke growled, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Go be an idiot elsewhere.”

Shisui paused looking at the faces that surrounded him. He felt very outnumbered. He felt insecure. They were all on Kakashi’s side. Shisui took a step away from them. Eyes landing on Itachi, who was hardly looking at him. Shisui frowned and turned to leave.

“Deidara, let’s go to that tavern!” Shisui called out over his shoulder. Deidara gave an apologetic look to the group, before grabbing hold of Sasori and dragging him after Shisui.

\--

“You are such an emotional prick.” Deidara sighed as he watched Shisui toss back another shot.

Shisui was piss drunk and just didn’t care. He slumped forward against the bar top. He knew he was stupid. He knew he really had fucked up. He potentially ruined everything with Itachi. Just after they had made up. Shisui felt tears sting his eyes and took another shot.

“That was really, really dumb. You’re probably going to be suspended. You know, assaulting another officer and all that.” Deidara said, taking a shot of his own.

Sasori was coming out of his previous drunken state, and was leaning against the bar top, looking pale and sicky.

“Why would you listen to me? Shit, I don’t remember what was going on.”

Shisui sighed.

“Yeah, but I know Kakashi and Itachi have this connection.” Shisui said, playing with his coat sleeve.

“It’s not romantic.” Deidara said.

Shisui shrugged. “It feels romantic. Kakashi has always looked at Itachi… like… like…”

“Like what?” Sasori snapped.

“Like how I look at him. Like he is his light or something. It hurts to see another man look at the person you love like that.”

Deidara sighed. “You idiot. Who cares if Kakashi pines after Itachi? Itachi is in LOVE with you.”

Shisui shook his head. “No. Probably not anymore. But they have this flirty connection. Itachi liked Kakashi when he was younger.”

Deidara rolled his eyes. “Oh, when he was some hormone deranged kid who was interacting with his father’s cool, older partner? Come on Shisui. Be reasonable here.”

Deidara was right. But Shisui’s mind was hazy and he was in the process of beating himself up. He kept drinking and thinking about Itachi. He deep, black eyes. Thick, long lashes. Milky white skin. Inky black hair, spilling down his back. Oh, that hair. Shisui’s drunken eyes roamed the room until they landed on a person with equally long hair as Itachi. Shisui stared at them. Perhaps sensing someone was watching them, they turned to look at Shisui.

A girl.

She was by no means ugly, but Shisui only knew beauty if it was Itachi. The girl gave Shisui a smile, but Shisui simply slumped forward, downing another shot. Deidara was busy trying to get Sasori to go to the bathroom to puke, when the girl took a seat next to Shisui. Shisui’s mind was a blur and he could hardly focus. She said something to him, but he didn’t hear it. He was staring at her long, dark hair. It wasn’t as pretty as Itachi’s. Shisui reached out to touch it. It wasn’t as soft and silky as Itachi’s either. The girl giggled a bit, and Shisui felt Deidara paw at him.

“Shisui? Come on, let’s get you home.”

Shisui could barely hear him. The girl was smiling at Shisui, but he was still staring at the hair. She leaned forward and suddenly Shisui was meeting her in the middle. He kissed her. Deidara yanked Shisui back, breaking the kiss. Shisui was so drunk that he let himself be handled dumbly. He was on the verge of a black out, once again meeting the girl’s eyes. She leaned forward, and he kissed her again.

Itachi.

Itachi, I love you.

-

When Shisui woke up, he groaned. His head was pounding, and he felt dehydrated. He rolled on his side to see Sasori on the opposite couch. They were at Deidara’s. 

“Good morning, idiot.”

Shisui flinched at the noise and looked to see Deidara, standing in the doorway, coffee in hand.

“What time is it?” Shisui rasped, reaching for the glass of water Deidara left him the night before.

“Late, like 11.”

Shisui groaned. He needed to go home. Suddenly the events of the previous night flooded Shisui’s memory.

Punching Kakashi.

Itachi’s incredibly hurt look.

Kissing that girl.

Shisui gulped, eyes flashing over to Deidara.

“Tell me that was a dream. Tell me I did not kiss that girl.”

Deidara looked uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, dude. You did.”

Shisui tugged at his hair.

‘What the fuck? What the fuck? I love Itachi, I would never…”

Deidara shrugged. “You were a mess last night.”

Shisui was sweating. He had to get home. He had to speak with Itachi.

“I got to go, I got to see Itachi.”

“You got to be honest with him.” Deidara mumbled. Shisui froze, allowing himself to look at Deidara.

“Itachi has a right to know.”

Shisui rubbed his palms together and nodded nervously.

“You’re right.”

\--

Itachi was in the middle of schoolwork when Shisui finally made it home. Itachi lifted his head and paused when Shisui stumbled into the room.

“You smell like a bar…” Itachi remarked.

“Itachi…” Shisui gasped, settling in the seat across from Itachi.

“I know I am a total idiot. But please, I need you to listen to me.”

Itachi looked unhappy but didn’t say anything.

“Sasori told me you were being flirty or weird with Kakashi. But Sasori is a drunk idiot. I’m an idiot. I let my emotions get the best of me. But I just love you so much. And… and…” Shisui paused, taking in Itachi’s expression. Itachi’s face showed hurt. He looked anxious and tired. Shisui’s eyes fluttered down to his medical books. He was just causing Itachi so many issues. Shisui sighed, tears leaking from his eyes.

“Itachi, I am the biggest idiot in the world.”

Itachi remained silent.

“I kissed someone else last night.”


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi’s face slightly fell and a look of confusion spread across his features. His mind was carefully unfolding what Shisui had said, leaving him to stare blankly at Shisui. After a moment, Itachi’s face twisted into something that would haunt Shisui’s dreams for the rest of his life. Shisui shuddered as he heard Itachi’s sharp intake of air.

“…what?” Itachi finally whispered, voice laced with pain.

Shisui averted his gaze, opting to look down at the table between them. He tried to control his breathing, but he could hear Itachi’s breath quicken, which made Shisui’s heart race with anxiety. Shisui squeezed his eyes shut, tears were falling against the table and Shisui began to shake in an effort to control his sobs.

“Shisui… Shisui… what?” Itachi said, voice a little stronger. Shisui refused to meet Itachi’s gaze that he could feel. Shisui wiped his nose, steadying his breath before he continued.

“I got drunk at the bar… and I kissed someone. A girl. She kind of looked like you…” Shisui blurted out. He could feel Itachi flinch away at his admission. Shisui wiped his eyes. “I just… I can’t…. I made a terrible, terrible mistake.” Shisui breathed out.

Itachi remained silent, but Shisui did notice that it wasn’t just his tears falling against the table. Shisui finally allowed his eyes to flick up to look at Itachi. Itachi’s head was bent over his textbooks. He was shaking, trying to hold his sobs in. Tears were landing on his books and his work, smearing the ink he had been using. Itachi was wearing an old Police Academy sweatshirt of Shisui’s and in that moment, Shisui thought Itachi looked so frail. He took a shaky breath as he continued to look at Itachi.

Itachi.

This beautiful, smart, caring man. Shisui did not deserve him. He was too good. Too pure. He was the sun in not only Shisui’s world, but many others. Seeing Itachi’s broken expression was devastating. But it allowed Shisui to gain some clarity. He was wrong. He was stupid. But he would continue to be stupid. He would continue to be wrong. He was going to break Itachi down one of these days. The thought of being the one to put this expression on Itachi’s face made Shisui feel sick. Shisui felt his tears roll to a stop. And he continued to watch Itachi as he tried to gain his composure.

“Why?” Itachi asked, looking up at Shisui through his lashes, tears still clinging to the tips.

Shisui felt weirdly calm in this moment. Itachi was still radiating with pain and confusion, but Shisui almost felt like he was on autopilot. He met Itachi’s gaze and held it. He sighed, running his hands through his curly locks.

“Itachi… I am the biggest idiot in the whole world. But I am smart enough to realize that this is wrong. I can’t help the way I feel towards Kakashi. I don’t think I will ever be able to get a handle on my jealousy towards him.” Shisui let his eyes fall back to the table, watching the small puddle of Itachi’s tears. “I can’t keep doing this. To you.” Itachi’s head snapped up at this.

‘What… what are you suggesting?”

Shisui let out a long exhale through his nose.

“Then thought of causing you even more pain than I already am, is unbearable. I won’t do it.”

Itachi tilted his head. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears and his nose was pink from it running. He looked so fragile that Shisui wanted to scream.

“I think we should break up.”

Itachi’s eyes grew wide as he stared at Shisui. His mouth fell open, in a desperate attempt to say something. Shisui lowered his gaze and sighed unhappily. 

“Shisui… please. Let’s talk about this.” Itachi said, in his broken, sad voice. Shisui couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand the idea that he is the one who caused this brokenness. He let his hands turn to fists and shook his head.

“There isn’t much to say, Itachi. I cause you pain. And a lot of it.” Shisui’s eyes met Itachi’s. “I can’t keep doing this to you. You want to be a doctor, for Christs sake. You don’t need my jealousy distracting you.”

Itachi shook his head, scrambling to his feet.

“Shisui, please!” Itachi cried out. Still at a loss of what to say. Shisui also got to his feet, he felt empty as he stared at Itachi’s shaking form.

“I don’t want to keep doing this.”

“Is it that girl?” Itachi shrieked. Shisui flinched.

“No.”

“Is this all really because of Kakashi?” Itachi asked, a hint of anger in his voice. Shisui looked down at his shoes. He knew this was pointless. Itachi would try to fight him. But, in Shisui’s head, this was the right thing to do. He knew he couldn’t control his jealousy. He knew that his lashing out over Kakashi was hurting Itachi. He also, hated to admit it, didn’t trust Itachi completely. Shisui reflected back to punching Kakashi. The look on Itachi’s face. The concern he had for Kakashi. Shisui sighed. No. This was the right thing to do.

“I’m leaving.” Shisui said simply, his body still moving on what felt like auto pilot. Itachi made a surprised sound and Shisui could hear him coming around the table to stand in front of him. Shisui flicked his eyes up, catching Itachi’s gaze. Itachi’s normally perfectly styled hair, was in a messy bun, the bangs that framed his face were wild with tears and Shisui thought that Itachi must have been running his fingers through them nervously during the conversation.

“You’re just going to leave?” Itachi whimpered. He seemed like he was in shock. Shisui chose to remain quiet. He left the house and drove back to Deidara’s. Once he got there, he sent a text to Itachi.

“I am moving out. I will be by in the next few days to get my things.”

\--

Deidara answered his door with a look of shock.

“Oh shit. Did he kick you out?” Deidara said after a moment, a smirk filtering onto his face. Shisui held his gaze.

“I broke up with Itachi.”

Deidara’s eyes blew wide. “What?”

Shisui shifted awkwardly. It was cold outside and Deidara hadn’t let Shisui in yet. 

“Are you serious?” Deidara prompted when Shisui didn’t respond.

“Let me in and we can talk.” Shisui sighed. Deidara regarded Shisui for a moment, before he stepped to the side, allowing Shisui into his home. Shisui wasn’t surprised to see Sasori there still. He plopped down on the couch, Sasori’s face growing worried.

“Oh man. Don’t tell me you got kicked out?” Sasori whispered.

“No. Shisui here broke up with Itachi.” 

Sasori gasped, trying to catch Shisui’s gaze. Shisui’s eyes were fixed on the ground, refusing to meet either Sasori’s or Deidara’s. Shisui vaguely felt his phone go off but ignored it.

“What happened, man?”

“Yeah,” Deidara said, taking a seat on the other side of Shisui. “How does the one who cheated break up with the person they cheated on? Shouldn’t it have been the other way around?”

Shisui rolled his eyes. He let his face fall into his hands and raked them up and down his face. After a moment he finally looked up to see Sasori and Deidara still watching him. Shisui took a big breath and let it out slowly.

“I can never accept Kakashi as someone important in Itachi’s life.” Deidara opened his mouth to say something when Shisui held up a hand to stop him. “I went home to tell Itachi how sorry I was. And I am. I am so sorry for how dumb I was. But I saw this look on his face. And it made me realize that I am constantly putting that look on his face. He has so much shit going on. His father is dead. Taking care of his mother and Sasuke. Trying to become a doctor. He has so much on his plate…” Shisui took a shaky breath. “And I realized when I looked at him, that he doesn’t need my aggravation. I am not good for Itachi. I love him too much to hang around and cause him to fail or be upset. He tells me to trust him. And I want to. So badly! But I don’t. And I don’t think I ever will… not as long as Kakashi is around.” Shisui said with a shrug.

Deidara and Sasori exchanged glances.

“Shisui, you care about Itachi. Yes?” Sasori began, slowly.

Shisui nodded.

“Giving up on him is not the answer. You are too emotional right now. You aren’t thinking.”

Shisui met Sasori’s gaze. “I am thinking though. I’m thinking that even though nothing probably happened between Kakashi and Itachi last night, I can’t help but think Itachi wanted something more. I am thinking about how Itachi works so hard to provide for others, and I just come along and make him feel all broken and anxious. Itachi deserves to be with someone who trusts him. And it isn’t me. Since Fugaku died, our relationship has been strained because I’m the one who is straining it.”

Sasori fell silent, he glanced at Deidara who was leaning back against the couch with his arms crossed.

“I mean… if that is how you feel, Shisui. If you really feel like this is the only thing that makes sense.”

Shisui gulped. It made sense to Shisui now. He took another shaky breath.

“I’m moving out. I texted Itachi that when I got here.”

Sasori flinched at that while Deidara remained silent. He stared Shisui down until Shisui held his gaze.

“Seems like you have thought about this. Moving out. It’s pretty… final.” Deidara mused after a moment. Shisui shrugged. “Once I realized that I was doing more harm than good to Itachi, it kinda just flowed out of me.” Deidara nodded. “So, I take it you need a place to crash until you get a new place?” Deidara asked after a moment of silence.

Shisui stared at the floor for a moment, his mind felt weirdly calm.

“I’m just staying for a few nights.”

Deidara nodded, getting to his feet and cracking his thumbs.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Probably a good idea to not be alone now, eh?” Shisui nodded.

Deidara regarded Shisui for a moment more before leaving the room. Sasori lingered a while longer, hoping Shisui would talk about it more. But once it became obvious that Shisui was going to remain quiet, Sasori took his leave as well. Shisui remained rooted on the couch, eyes staring at the floor. It occurred to him that he had gotten a text and pulled out his phone. He wasn’t surprised to see it was from Itachi.

“Shisui, please come home. Let’s talk about this. I love you.”

Ow.

That hurt. Shisui took a deep breath and deleted the text.

\--

The next morning, Shisui called Obito, who was the captain of their sister station a few hours away.

“Captain Obito.”

“Hey, Obito… It’s me. Shisui.”

A pause and then a hearty laugh.

“Shisui! Damn, I haven’t heard from you in a while, man. How are things? Hear you are filling in as captain since Fugaku’s passing. Meant to give you a call. Sorry I couldn’t make it to the funeral, we have been pretty swamped down here.” Obito’s voice was breezy, conversational. But Obito was always like that. He always came across as very friendly, almost goofy. At first encounter, one might wonder what kind of cop he would be, but he was an extraordinary cop. They had gone through the police academy together and had grown close during that time. They exchanged holiday cards every year and called on their respected birthdays. Hearing Obito’s voice put Shisui at ease slightly.

“Well, I was actually calling about your station.”

“Hm? What about it.”

‘Well, you said that you guys are swamped?”

Obito was silent. “What are you asking me, Shisui?”

Shisui gulped. “How about I come down and help you?”

Obito laughed again.

“Oh? Aren’t you captain? That doesn’t seem like that would be fair to your guys.”

“I’m just a temp. Thy can always find another temp.”

Obito paused, and Shisui knew he was calculating.

“What about Fugaku’s son… uh… what’s his name?”

“Itachi.” Shisui supplied, rolling his eyes. Obito purposefully always “forgot” Itachi’s name, just to poke fun at Shisui. Obito would tease Shisui about how they were so happy and in love before Itachi came around. And though they were definitely in a physical relationship when Shisui first met Itachi, Shisui was in no means in love. Obito claimed that he just jokes about the being in love, but once Itachi entered the picture, Obito transferred out.

Obito chuckled. “Yes, pretty Itachi. What about him? I thought you were about to get married or something. You guys seemed pretty… serious.” There was an edge to Obito’s voice at the end. Shisui took a breath. “We broke up.” Shisui could hear Obito freeze on the phone. “Woah. Uh, sorry man. Jesus… what happened?” Shisui sighed angrily. “I’m not really interested in discussing this over the phone. Just seeing if you would be open to a transfer.” Shisui snapped. Obito was silent a moment longer. “Uh, yeah. We would love some help down here.”

\--

Shisui put in his notice with the department, shocking both Deidara and Sasori. Due to the incident at the Christmas party, Shisui had been placed on an administrative leave by their HR department. Which was fine by Shisui. He didn’t want to see Kakashi or anyone from the department. He was ready to move and start working with Obito again. 

Shisui had been staying with Deidara, but Obito had assured Shisui that his place was available for when Shisui finally moved down in the next month. That allowed Shisui to move much quicker, now that he wasn’t waiting to find a place. In the meantime, Shisui had been avoiding going back to his old apartment with Itachi. He was scared he would run into Itachi there.

At first, Itachi had tried to call and text him several times a day, desperately trying to talk things out. Shisui simply ignored the messages. As days went on, Itachi stopped reaching out as much, until they were simply only texts about whose stuff was whose back at the apartment and how they were splitting the things that they had gotten together. For the most part, Shisui let Itachi have everything. He didn’t want it. Didn’t want to be reminded of Itachi. Shisui had been avoiding going back to pick up his clothes, but on the tenth day of wearing the same three things, Deidara insisted that Shisui get his clothes.

Shisui pulled up to their apartment and glanced up. He could tell that the blinds were open, and he prayed that Itachi wasn’t there. He didn’t see Itachi’s car, but it meant nothing. He could have gotten a ride with anyone. Maybe even Kakashi. 

Shisui dragged himself to their front door and unlocked it quickly. He let the door fall open and his heart flinched at the sight. The apartment was mostly gutted. Itachi had moved out his stuff and the things that Shisui said he could have, just leaving the few pieces of furniture that were Shisui’s and the rest of Shisui’s shit. Shisui felt awkward. It felt like a completely unknown space. He shuffled in nervously but after a moment, determined that there was no one in the apartment. He relaxed slightly and headed towards his old bedroom. The room was mostly empty, save for their shared bed and Shisui’s clothes neatly folded on it. Shisui grumbled to himself, he had forgotten that he agreed to take the bed. But he didn’t want it. The thought of having this bed, a space where he got to experience Itachi in his most vulnerable and intimate form… Made Shisui feel queasy. He opened the backpack he had brought and began stuffing his clothes in it, letting his eyes lazily roll around the room. He paused when he noticed that most of the pictures, they had in their room were no where to be seen. Shisui wondered if Itachi had thrown them away or kept them. The thought of their memories lying in a garbage really unsettled Shisui. He frowned when he heard someone enter the apartment. 

Shisui sprang to his feet, heart pounding. It had to be Itachi. He must be here to double, triple, quadruple check to make sure he got everything. He was so anal like that. The thought brought a small smile to his face. Shisui had been aggressively avoiding seeing and talking to Itachi. But being in their home, Shisui was starting to doubt that this was the right idea. He felt unsettled. He needed to see Itachi. He quickly made his way to the living room, coming face to face with a startled Sasuke.

Shisui blinked.

Sasuke quickly regained composure and glared at Shisui. Shisui groaned. Sasuke was the last person he wanted to see.

“Shisui.” Sasuke hissed, crossing his arms across his chest.

Shisui felt his face heat up. He hadn’t expected to see Sasuke, but it made sense. Sasuke was fiercely protective of Itachi. Sasuke glared at Shisui, tilting his chin towards him. Trying to intimidate Shisui, and it was kind of working.

“Came to finally get your crap?” 

Shisui held his gaze, feeling bashful. He cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m grabbing my clothes. I’ll get my furniture next week. Before the lease is up.” Shisui flinched at that.

Sasuke remained still. He looked Shisui over and then scowled then returned to what he had come to the apartment to do. Sasuke was going through the kitchen, probably checking to make sure everything was clean. Shisui stood awkwardly, watching Sasuke. Every few seconds, Sasuke would throw Shisui a look and Shisui would look to the floor. After a moment, Shisui decided to be stupid.

“How is Itachi?”

Sasuke’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He flipped around quickly, his long bangs slapping against the side of his face. He glared at Shisui.

“Why would you ask me that? Why would you bother?”

Shisui felt the need to defend himself but had no voice.

“I think you made it very clear that you don’t care about him.” Sasuke snapped.

Shisui wanted to protest. To tell Sasuke that he left his brother because he was just causing him pain and suffering. Itachi would be better off without him. He wanted to scream at Sasuke that all he ever did was care about his brother. But he remains silent, lets his eyes fall to the floor.

Sasuke watches Shisui with a look of disgust. After a moment, Sasuke sighs and puts his hands on his hips. “Shisui, you have put Itachi through enough. You ended things. Let him go.” Shisui gulped at the floor but nodded. Sasuke watched him for a moment longer before he made his exit. Soon Shisui was standing alone in his old apartment with the love of his life. The reality of this rocked Shisui suddenly. He felt his lip tremble as all the unshed tears that he had held back since the breakup came rushing out of his eyes. Shisui cried into the wooden floor before standing up, gathering his things and leaving.


	5. Chapter 5

Shisui adjusted his backpack as he exited his car. With a sigh, he turned his gaze upward towards the house, looming in front of him.

Obito’s house.

Obito had been insistent that he stay with Shisui. Practically begged him to. Shisui knew why. Obito hated being alone. But what he hated more than that, was people seeing him vulnerable. Because of this, he kept himself isolated, which only caused him more pain. Shisui had seen Obito vulnerable. He had seen him in every way possible. Shisui was convinced that he was the only one that Obito let his guard down for. In a way, it had been endearing. Especially when they were younger and often times found themselves fooling around after long shifts or grueling paperwork. But now, Shisui felt almost like a crutch to Obito. His only outlet. Obito would get inside of his head and Shisui would be the only one to draw him back out. Granted, once Itachi entered the picture, Obito was forced to find other outlets, such as booze and anonymous sex, but they were outlets, nonetheless.

Shisui sighed and before he could even take a step towards the house, the front door flew open, revealing Obito holding a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

“Ah, My boyfriend is home!” Obito sang out, a smirk plastered over his face. Shisui felt his eye twitch at that but braced himself for the hug Obito offered him.

“Hey, all things aside, good to see you, man!” Obito said, such cheer in his voice. Shisui wanted to be polite but could only nod weakly. Obito pulled the backpack off Shisui’s shoulder and glanced over to Shisui’s car. 

“Leve the rest of your shit for now. Let’s catch up. You want something to drink?”

Shisui’s automatic reaction was to say no, but after a moment he realized that he would die for a drink.

“Yeah, you got any gin?”

Obito gave a hearty laugh, turning to lead Shisui into his housed. “Gin? Jesus, you must be going through it. Of course, I have gin. Come, sit, tell me your woes.” Obito teased, setting Shisui’s backpack at the base of the stairs.

Shisui had been to Obito’s house once before and it was as empty as he remembered. Obito claimed that he hated interior design. Thought it was pointless. “I’m just here to eat, sleep and fuck. Who cares what it looks like?” He used to say to Shisui. The walls were blank and his furniture all muted Earth tones. Very much the opposite of Shisui’s place with Itachi. But it would be good, Shisui desperately thought, taking a seat. Nothing here would remind him of Itachi.

Obito reentered the room, holding out a glass for Shisui. Shisui took it and downed it in mere seconds. Obito smirked wildly. 

“Okay, I’ve given you time and space. You’re living with me. Spill. What the fuck happened?” Obito said, plopping down next to Shisui on the couch.

Shisui sighed and scratched the back of his head. Obito laughed again. “Don’t tell me. He broke up with you? Man, I told you! Didn’t I say something a few years back?” Obito smirked, slapping Shisui on the back.

“I broke up with him.” Shisui said simply, not even reacting to the hand slapping him on the back. Obito paused, blinking at Shisui. There was a moment of pure silence before Obito let out another laugh. “There he is! I knew you couldn’t stay tied down forever! You were never like that back at the academy. Always sleeping around…” Obito mused. Shisui gave Obito a look before he sighed, holing out the glass, indicating that he wanted more. Obito chuckled and got to his feet, snatching the glass from Shisui. A moment later and her returned, handing the glass back to Shisui and just like the last time, Shisui sucked it down within seconds.

“So, what was the reason?” Obito asked, swirling around the beer in his bottle. He tried to look indifferent, but Shisui could tell he was anxious to know why. Shisui sat forward and exhaled loudly. “Kakashi.”

“Kakashi?” Obito blinked. Shisui remained silent. “What about Kakashi?” Obito pressed.

“Man, I don’t know. Kakashi and Itachi just had this chemistry. I felt so jealous. Like, I couldn’t handle it. I thought Itachi was cheating on me.”

Obito choked on his beer. “Was he?”

Shisui shook his head, paused, and then shrugged. “No. I mean, probably not. But I couldn’t help myself. I was obsessed with it.” Shisui sighed, running a hand through his curls. “Itachi has so much going on right now. He’s in med school, Jesus. Plus, this lifestyle… me being a cop… it wasn’t good for him. He hated hearing about what I went through. We just… weren’t good for each other.”

Obito chuckled. “Well, Kakashi is a cop too. Your logic isn’t sound.” Shisui just shrugged. Obito smiled softly and took another sip of his beer. “You know, Itachi was very… delicate. He was not cut out to be around this world of ours. I mean, I’m sure you remember when we first joined the force and Itachi had just moved out of his parent’s home. It was a mess. Fugaku was very critical of his son. But it was true, what Fugaku was saying. Itachi was weak.”

Shisui grimaced. When he first joined the force with Obito, Itachi had very recently left home because of his father’s pressure to become a cop. The months that followed were extremely tense between Itachi and Fugaku, and Fugaku often vented his frustrations with the force. He was so hard on Itachi. Claiming that Itachi had let him down and was not as strong as he thought. It hurt to hear about it and then when Shisui actually got to know Itachi, he was downright angry with the words Fugaku used. Itachi was a pacifist. He loved and cared about all. He wanted to be a doctor to save lives. He was so sweet and caring, that hearing his own father call him weak, drove Shisui up the wall. Eventually, Fugaku had relented and acknowledged that his son was not weak. But the words would forever hang in the air. Shisui hated that Obito was now using them to justify why Itachi wasn’t right for him.

Shisui remained silent as Obito watched him. Obito sighed and finished his beer. “Look, I’m sorry things went south. But you had to know that it would end up this way. You were too different.” Shisui nodded absently. Obito frowned slightly and leaned in closer to Shisui. “Don’t forget, Shisui, I know you pretty well myself. You will be okay.” Shisui’s eyes lifted to meet Obito’s. He knew that look. “I’m here for you, man.” Obito breathed. Shisui nodded and closed his eyes. 

He felt Obito’s lips on his.


	6. Chapter 6

Nine Months Later  
\--

Shisui rubbed his tired wrist and glanced at the clock. He had been filling out mission reports for hours now, and he was seriously thinking about complaining to HR about developing some sort of permanent damage to his wrist because of it. He let out a sigh. This was the last week of his suspension. Since his transfer to Konaha’s sister station, Obito had placed Shisui on an administrative suspension due to his “assault” of Kakashi almost a year prior. When Shisui initially complained about having to do paperwork, Obito pointed out that he had been lucky. Kakashi and Konoha PD’s HR department had been surprisingly lenient on Shisui. They had chalked Shisui’s little outburst up to him being “overworked”. It worked out well for Shisui, other than having to spend hours upon hours filling out the other officer’s paperwork. Thankfully, it was all coming to an end. Come Monday, he would be on patrol with his new partner, and it sort of invigorated Shisui. 

Shisui shook out his wrist and then picked up his pencil again, only to feel his pocket vibrate. Shisui leaned back, finishing the phone out of his pants and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hey, buddy!”

Shisui smiled. “Hey, Deidara.”

Deidara and Shisui had remained good friends since Shisui’s move. They called weekly and talked like they used to. The only thing different was Shisui made Deidara swear that he wouldn’t talk about Itachi or Kakashi. Once Shisui had moved away, he blocked Itachi on everything. He couldn’t let himself see what Itachi’s life was like now that he was gone.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Shisui said, glancing back at the clock. It was nearly five on a Friday, Deidara never called then.

Deidara paused on the phone. “Well, I’m sure you already know what is coming up.” Deidara began slowly. Shisui blinked, setting his pencil down. 

“Uh, no? It’s not your birthday or something, right?”

Deidara was silent for a moment. “I know you don’t want to talk about… certain things…” Shisui immediately tensed. He let out a little huff of annoyance. “Then why are you trying to bring it up?” Shisui practically growled. Deidara fumbled with his words on the other end, eventually falling silent.

“The anniversary of Fugaku’s death is tomorrow.”

Shisui’s mouth fell open. He had distantly thought about it not too long ago. But anything regarding the Uchiha’s made Shisui’s mind wander towards Itachi. And Shisui could not afford to think about Itachi.

Shisui let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It occurred to me a few days ago.”

“Look, I know that Itachi is taboo to you, but you knew the family pretty well. You were practically Fugaku’s son-in-law at one point. I’m just calling to make sure that you give at least Mikoto a call.” Deidara said calmly.

Shisui leaned back, staring blankly at the unfinished paperwork. He had to get this done tonight. He sighed again. Deidara was right. Itachi and him were done. But Mikoto had kind of been the mother that Shisui never had. He should give her a call.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call.” Shisui said, picking his pencil up again. “Is that all?” Shisui snapped.

Deidara let out a huff. “I just… do the right thing, Shisui.” And with that, Deidara hung up. 

Shisui frowned and set his phone down with a little more force than necessary. Deidara had made it no secret that he thought the breakup was a bad idea. Once Shisui had moved and transferred he had called Shisui relentlessly to try and convince Shisui to reconsider. But Shisui insisted that it was for the best. Though Deidara had a point regarding giving Mikoto a call, Shisui couldn’t help but feel that his intentions might be for Shisui to potentially interact with Itachi again. The thought of that made Shisui feel sick. He hadn’t talked to Itachi since he moved. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if he found out that Itachi and Kakashi were together. He couldn’t handle thinking about Itachi dating anyone. It made his stomach roll with nausea. Shisui knew it was unfair to not want Itachi to date, for Shisui had engaged in several different relationships since he had moved. Shisui grumbled to himself and finished his paperwork.

\--

Obito came through the door loudly, jolting Shisui from his sleep. 

“Obito?” Shisui questioned, rubbing his eyes and glancing at his bedside clock. 3:09 AM. 

Obito was mostly silent as he fell into bed next to Shisui. Shisui groaned, moving over to make room and catching a whiff of alcohol that was radiating off Obito’s form. 

“Are you drunk?” Shisui asked, feeling Obito’s arms wrap around him. Obito was cold and it caused Shisui to shiver a little.

“Went for drinks with the boys after our shift. You know how it is.” Obito slurred. Shisui nodded, but Obito’s face was buried into his neck. Shisui sighed with annoyance.

“Maybe you should go to your own bed? Might make you feel better?” Shisui tried.

Obito gripped Shisui tighter, and Shisui knew he had his answer. He sighed and let himself become relaxed in Obito’s grip. The room fell silent and Shisui closed his eyes.

“You seem sad.” Obito said suddenly, causing Shisui to open his eyes. Shisui remained quiet as Obito adjusted himself on the bed. “Are you sad?”

“Yeah… I’m sad.” Shisui relented. Obito pulled Shisui close so that Shisui’s back was flushed against Obito’s chest. “Why are you sad?” Obito slurred, drink heavy in his voice.

For a moment, Shisui considered opening. Telling Obito that the call he had with Deidara had affected him more than he wanted. Tell Obito that he wished he could be there for Itachi and Mikoto, hell, even Sasuke. Tell Obito that he missed Itachi so much and Deidara had triggered these feelings again. Shisui had foolishly thought that he had moved past Itachi, but that wasn’t the case. Shisui considered all these things before he shook his head with a huff. 

“I’m sad I never have my bed to myself.” Shisui mumbled. Obito smiled into Shisui’s shoulder and gave his shoulder a kiss. “Nahhhhhhh, you love having me here.” Shisui didn’t respond but turned towards Obito. They locked eyes for a moment and then Shisui pulled his face close to Obito’s and gave him a desperate kiss.

\--

When Shisui woke the next morning, it was gloomy and dark. Obito was still asleep next to him, probably hung over as all get out. Shisui moved to get out of bed, noting how tender he felt from earlier that morning. He pulled himself to his feet, glancing down at Obito and moved to the bathroom. Upon entering, Shisui groaned. Obito had marked his entire neck in bruises and much of his chest. He looked like he did when he was at the academy sleeping with Obito and whoever he could get into bed. He washed his face and exited the bathroom. Obito was sitting up in bed, his eyes bloodshot and glassy.

“Good morning.” Shisui said as he began to dress for the day. He had the day off today, but Obito wasn’t as lucky.

“What the fuck time is it?” Obito rasped, letting his head fall into his hands. Shisui couldn’t help but smirk. “Almost 10 AM, Captain.” Obito growled at that and tossed the blankets off his naked body. “I should make you come in just for that attitude.” Obito grumbled, pulling on yesterday’s clothes. Shisui hummed happily as he watched Obito quickly redress. Once Obito was dressed again he turned to look at Shisui.

“Why are you sad?” He questioned again.

Shisui blinked in surprise. He had thought that Obito might have forgotten about that. Shisui offered up a smile. “I’m not sad.” Obito looked unimpressed, glancing down at his phone. He was silent for another moment before Obito looked back into Shisui’s eyes.

“Fugaku Uchiha was killed a year ago today.” Obito stated.

Shisui’s smile dropped slightly. “I know.” Obito watched Shisui for a moment. “Are you gonna call him?” Obito said, ripping his eyes away from Shisui and fiddling with eh buttons on his work shirt. Shisui felt awkward. Shisui had expressed to Obito that he didn’t want to talk about Itachi. But whenever Itachi did come up, Obito always seemed a little annoyed. Shisui crossed his arms, looking down at his bare feet.

“No.”

“No?” Obito echoed, turning in shock to look at Shisui.

“Deidara called yesterday…” Shisui began. Obito’s face slid into a look of understanding. 

“Oh, so that’s why you were so sullen and sad last night.”

“I wasn’t sad! I just… hadn’t thought about Itachi for a while, I guess.” A lie, but Obito didn’t have to know that.

Obito nodded. “The station has sent flowers to the Uchiha family. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to get all… weird.” Shisui frowned at that. Obito placed his hand on Shisui’s should and smiled. “He is in the past, Shisui. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t want to open that door again.” Shisui shrugged Obito’s hand off his shoulder.

“Fuck you. Since when do you give helpful advice?” Shisui said with a small smile.

Obito smirked. “No advice to give. I’m being real. Your past is your past. Fuck it.” Shisui nodded. Obito’s whole mentality was fuck the past. He had hang ups for sure. Shisui recalls Obito’s first and potentially only love, a girl named Rin who died of cancer when Obito was a teenager. Sometimes, after they had sex and Obito had gone to sleep, Shisui would hear Obito whimper her name. Shisui had once tried to ask Obito about it, but Obito shut that shit down. Quick. Obito never wanted to think about her or his past. Maybe that is what Shisui should do.

Obito moved past Shisui and out into the hallway. “I’ll be home late. Got some shit I got to do.” Obito called out as he gathered his briefcase and grabbed his coat. Shisui remained quiet, standing in the doorway. Obito looked over his shoulder as he began his descent down the stairs.

“No worries if you do call, though. It’s all about what YOU want.” Shisui nodded and waved goodbye.

Shisui did not call.

\--

Deidara called first thing Monday morning. Shisui had been avoiding his cellphone all weekend but hadn’t thought far enough ahead to screen his desk phone at the office. Shisui was barely through his office door when the phone started ringing. Shisui scrambled, dropping his briefcase and fumbling with the folders he had been carrying. He eventually grabbed the phone and breathlessly answered.

“Officer Shisui.”

“You fucking idiot.”

Shisui sighed and slumped into his chair. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, it was too early for this shit.

“Deidara…”

“I TOLD you to call Mikoto at least. Do you know how much of an asshole you look like now?”

Shisui drummed his fingers on his desk letting his vision go out of focus. Deidara was silent on the other end, obviously waiting for Shisui to respond. After a moment, Deidara continued.

“You should have called. Fugaku was like your mentor. Mikoto was like your mom.”

“Deidara, I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t Shisui? You have been so damn immature I can’t believe it.”

Shisui felt a flicker of anger in his chest. 

“I can’t keep inviting that hurt back in my life.” Shisui snapped. Deidara was silent for a moment.

“Shisui, I get it- “

“Do you get it, Deidara? Because it doesn’t seem like you do. You call me and insist on talking about something that I am trying to move past. Isn’t it obvious that I don’t want to think about the Uchiha family?” Shisui was trying to keep his voice low, but Obito still meandered into his office once he overheard Shisui.

“I DO get it, Shisui. I do…” Deidara paused, searching for words. “But Mikoto was someone you loved. I thought, that on this terrible anniversary, you could reach out.”

“And what good would that do for her, or me? I have to stop inviting the hurt back, Dei.” Shisui sighed, motioning to Obito to leave. Obito smirked and lingered by the door before he eventually made his way out.

“You keep saying that. Why do you keep saying that? Inviting the hurt back?”

“It’s something Obito- “

“Obito? Oh Jesus, please tell me that isn’t a thing again.”

Shisui felt a blush creep onto his face. “No! We are not a thing.”

Deidara huffed on the other end. “Maybe you should come visit for a while, man. If you’re falling into the same old bullshit with Obito…”

Shisui sighed. “I’m not doing anything with Obito. We had our shit in the past, but that was years ago. Plus, I can’t come visit. I am just off my administrative suspension. This is my first rea day back and you are ruining it.”

Deidara hummed on the other end. “Well, I’m worried about you. Especially if you’re fucking Obito again.” Shisui groaned. “You find your own place yet?” Shisui felt sweat prickle at his forehead. “No…”

Deidara was silent for a beat. “Just trying to look out for you, man. I’ll let you go. Call me soon.”

“Okay, okay I will.” Shisui said, relieved that the call was coming to an end.

Shisui hung up and put his forehead to his desk. He let out a weary sigh as he heard Obito enter his office.

“A friend?” He chuckled, setting a cup of coffee on Shisui’s desk. Shisui eyed it lazily but swooped it up and took a sip. Black. Just the way he liked it. Obito’s, no doubt, was probably mostly sugar if Shisui remembered correctly. And he did.

“Deidara.” Shisui muttered, taking another sip.

“Ah. Kid never really liked me, did he?”

Shisui shrugged but it was true. Deidara wasn’t silent about his dislike of Obito. Even after Obito transferred out of Konoha, Deidara didn’t think too highly of him still. There had been a brief period where the three of them worked in the same office. Right before Shisui got to know Itachi and he was still sleeping around with Obito. Deidara had been Shisui’s first real friend he made after he joined the force and it had caused some hurt feelings between Deidara and Obito regarding who he spent his free time with. Eventually, after Shisui turned his focus on Itachi and Obito had transferred out, Deidara had risen in the ranks, becoming Shisui’s best friend. But the lingering resentment towards Obito was still a thing, Shisui guessed. 

Obito smirked at Shisui’s silence. “I take it he was upset with something?” Obito pressed after a moment.

Shisui looked up at Obito. “I didn’t call Mikoto on Saturday. He wanted to know why.” Shisui said, keeping his voice level. Obito nodded, taking a long sip of coffee.

“Well, it’s like what I said. You do you.”

Shisui nodded.

“Or do me.”

Shisui glared at Obito before he got to his feet, gathering his spilled folders in his arms.

“Shut up.”

Obito laughed and Shisui growled. It was just like old times.

\--

One Year Later

\--

Shisui jumped awake, sweat covering his entire body. A body next to him moved, startled awake just as he had been. Shisui tried to get his breath under control, desperately trying to still the shaking on his limbs.

“Are you okay?” A voice next to him asked.

Shisui nodded weakly and cleared his throat. The body shifted next to him, eventually sitting up next to Shisui.

“Well you scared the shit out of me. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Shisui couldn’t help but laugh. Anko was anything but comforting.

“It was nothing, just a bad dream.”

Anko glared at Shisui. “You’ve been kind of jumpy lately, what’s up with you?”

Shisui shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. Just… it’s nothing.” Anko held his gaze a moment longer before she laid down, turning her back to him. “Okay, whatever you say. Try to keep your night terrors to a minimum would ya? Some of us work tomorrow.” Shisui nodded into the darkness and remained still in bed. After a few moments, Shisui got to his feet and made his way to the bathroom. He flicked on the light and leaned over the sink to look at himself. He was still slightly sweaty, and his eyes were dilated. Shisui took a shaky breath and turned on the facet. He began to wash his face, desperately trying to calm his speeding heart.

Itachi.

Itachi had been on his mind ever since he saw long black hair at Anko’s bar. It caught his eye as he was talking with Anko. Just a flash of a ponytail, but it struck Shisui and he ripped his gaze from Anko to stare at the woman. She was not much to look at. Shisui really didn’t see beauty anymore. But the hair… the hair was long, silky, smooth. It reminded Shisui so much of Itachi’s.

Itachi.

Shisui had gotten pretty good at not thinking about Itachi. He holy popped into Shisui’s brain every couple of months. But it was fleeting. An almost thought. But this woman had caused memories of Itachi to come rushing back to Shisui. He was obsessively trying to keep them at bay. But at night, his mind was not guarded. He couldn’t fight off Itachi when he was sleeping. His dreams were of nothing but Itachi. His sleeping face. Him laughing. Him studying in their kitchen. Them making love. Tonight, he saw Itachi crying. Something Shisui never wanted to see again.

Shisui steadied himself before he returned to his room and slid into bed next to Anko. She was already sleeping, snoring very softly. Shisui took a deep breath and pulled the covers up to his chin. 

Don’t think. Just sleep. Don’t think. Just sleep.

Shisui said repeatedly to himself. He felt sleep grip him again and as he was slowly pulled into unconsciousness, Itachi’s face flashed in his mind.

\--

“You look like shit.”

Shisui frowned. “You woke me up. Today is my day off. I should still be in bed. Shisui mumbled out, nodding to the waitress who refilled his coffee cup. She turned to Obito who was sitting across from Shisui, but Obito waved her off.

“Maybe it’s because you haven’t been sleeping in my bed for a month?” Obito asked with a grin.

Shisui groaned. “No, that’s definitely not it.”

Obito laughed, stirring more sugar into his coffee. “How is the new place?”

Shisui groaned again. “Fine.”

“Yeah? How’s your girlfriend?”

“Anko is not my girlfriend.”

Obito laughed again. “Oh? I thought she was. She’s practically moved in.”

Shisui frowned deeply. “No. She stays over a lot… But we aren’t official or anything.”

“You just can’t cut me off, huh?” Obito smirked.

Shisui glared at Obito. “What the fuck do you want? Why did you wake me up? Cause these are some pretty bullshit questions to get a man out of bed for.”

Obito shook his head, suddenly falling serious. “I got some information today and wanted you to hear it from me.”

Shisui suddenly felt uneasy.

“What?”

“Fugaku’s killer has been caught.”

Shisui visibly flinched at the name. He stared at the table mind racing. 

“Uh, wow.”

“I know, I know. You don’t care about the Uchiha’s. But I just wanted you to know that it was Kakashi who caught the bastard. I know you still have it out for that guy. Didn’t want you to be blindsided at the station. The guys can be dicks. You know.”

“Oh.” Shisui said softly.

No, it was good, Shisui thought. He didn’t want to think about the Uchiha’s or Itachi, but having that closure was good. Kakashi was so dedicated to that family. It made sense that that would be priority. 

Shisui wondered if Kakashi was dedicated to Itachi.

Was Itachi done with school? He was so smart. He was probably first in all of his classes.

Was Itachi happy?

Shisui shook his head.

“Uh, thanks.” Shisui said.

Obito nodded. “I guess I should also tell you that Kakashi has been promoted from temporary captain, to the official captain.”

Shisui would be lying if he said he was shocked, but Shisui’s eyes till widened at the news.

“Oh. That’s… good. He was Fugaku’s partner and all.”

Obito studied Shisui’s face for a moment. “Yeah, I know. It made sense.”

Shisui nodded, sipping his coffee. Obito leaned back and sighed. “I know you are still in love with Itachi.”

Shisui’s face turned red as he glanced up at Obito.

“No… no! Why would you say that?” Shisui stammered, mentally kicking himself.

Obito smiled sadly. “Cause it’s written all over your stupid face.”

Shisui quickly looked back down at his coffee cup. He would do anything to get out of this booth and away from Obito.

“I recognize that look in your face. I get like that too. I am still in love with Rin.”

Shisui looked back at Obito. Obito never offered to talk about Rin. Ever. Obito sighed leaning forward against the table.

“Sometimes shit just reminds me of her. Like, I’ll pass by a shop and I’ll see a stupid trinket that I just know Rin would have paused to look at. And then I get all fucked up. Thinking about how it doesn’t matter how much I love or miss her, she is gone.”

Shisui held Obito’s gaze, feeling increasingly more on edge.

“I know you get that way too. You try to pretend that shit doesn’t remind you of Itachi. But you can’t help it. You get reminded of him and then you get this look on your face. Like you’re fighting against your heart. I see it every time.”

Shisui looked down, feeling uncomfortable.

“I don’t love Itachi, not anymore.” Shisui said finally.

Obito scoffed. “I know you’re trying to run away from these feelings, but they are there. Clear as day. I bet Anko sees it too.”

“No, because I don’t feel like that anymore. Sometimes I see something that kind of reminds me of him. But I just stop thinking about him.”

Obito said nothing. He just stared Shisui down, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You want to be over him?”

“I don’t want to. I AM over him.” Shisui huffed. A lie.

Obito nodded as he got to his feet. “Okay, Shisui. Whatever you say.” Obito tossed a couple bills on the table and turned to leave. Shisui remained seated, staring into his lukewarm cup of coffee. “Keep your eyes open the next time we are fucking.” Shisui gulped and glanced up at Obito, but Obito was already halfway out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Itachi sighed, pulling his glasses unceremoniously off his face, setting them on the table, before he aggressively rubbed the sleep from his eyes. After a moment, he reached up to tighten his high ponytail and then let is palms rest face down on the massive amount of texts and notes he had been drowning in for the past four hours.

This had been a stupid idea.

Itachi had woken up this morning with every intention of taking it easy. Sasuke had been all over him about taking some time off from his studies and just relaxing. Itachi insisted that he was okay, but the sheer mount of colds Itachi had come down with proved otherwise. “You need to rest, idiot!” Sasuke would nag before gently tugging Itachi’s hair. 

And Sasuke was right.

Itachi had dove headfirst into his studies once Shisui had left. He was almost completely consumed by materials and notes and studying. But it had made Itachi tired. He was exhausted all the time. Itachi knew Sasuke as right. He needed a break.

So that morning, Itachi pledged to himself and to Sasuke that he would take it easy. He planned to go visit some friends or go to the library and get a book that he could read for pleasure. He had dressed this morning with those goals in mind until he noticed the date.

Shisui’s birthday.

It had been nearly three years since their split, but Shisui’s birthday was a hard day for Itachi. Itachi swallowed uneasily as he began to think about Shisui. How things were. How things ended up. Itachi felt a mild panic attack set on. Why was he still so invested in a man who walked out of his life like that? Itachi knew the only thing to pull his attention from Shisui was the one thing he had been doing nonstop since Shisui left.

Study.

He tried to rationalize to himself that midterms were coming up. He was graduating early, and this was his last semester. He needed to get top marks.

But Itachi knew deep down he was just trying to drown the emotions he had for Shisui under a stupid amount of coursework.

And it hadn’t even worked.

Itachi left the house, lying to Sasuke about his whereabouts, and ended up in Shisui and Itachi’s old haunts. A café near their old apartment. They used to frequent the spot almost daily back when they were together. And Itachi had avoided the place once they had broken up. At first. But it didn’t take long before Itachi craved the cinnamon coffee’s and the familiar feeling he got from the café. He started coming around more and more. Itachi promised himself it was for the coffee, but deep down he knew it was because when he went, it felt like it did when Shisui was around.

Itachi let his head fall onto the table and sighed. He hadn’t even really done much studying. He zoned out a lot. Thought about Shisui more. Drank three cinnamon coffees and then thought about Shisui some more. It was stupid. Stupid to come. Stupid to think about someone who hadn’t spoken to him in nearly three years. Itachi let out another sigh.

“Is this seat taken?”

The chair next to Itachi pulled out, but the person simply hovered over Itachi, waiting for a reply. Itachi lifted his face and id his glasses back on gracefully. He smiled kindly at the guest.

“All yours.”

Kakashi smiled and set down another coffee in front of Itachi. Itachi shyly glanced at Kakashi who smiled at him.

“Thought you might need another. Your working yourself raw.” Kakashi’s eyes danced over the books and notes, eyes lingering on a doodle Itachi had been drawing.

Itachi felt self-conscious and took a small sip. “Not hard enough.”

Kakashi watched Itachi for a moment before slouching down with a smirk.

“I was actually just getting ready to leave.” Itachi said, grabbing his doodle and tossing it into his bookbag.

Kakashi nodded and silently helped Itachi gather his books. Once everything was packed up, they both rose to their feet.

“Can I walk you home?”

Itachi smiled and nodded. Once outside they began their short walk back to Itachi’s family home. Itachi had moved in after the breakup, to be closer to his mother and Sasuke. 

“How did you know I was there?” Itachi questioned after a moment.

“Ah, I didn’t. But Sasuke thought you might be there.”

Itachi flinched at that. He had told Sasuke that we were going to be at the library. But it shouldn’t really surprise Itachi, Sasuke was just as aware of what day it was. He knew Itachi very well and knew that Itachi was probably drowning himself in memories of Shisui.

“Oh, I see.” Itachi said, letting his gaze fall back to the ground.

Kakashi watched Itachi for a moment before turning his gaze forward. The walk was mostly quiet. Neither of them had much to say. But it was a nice kind of quiet. Comfortable. 

Once Itachi’s house came into view, Kakashi slowed his walk to a stop. Itachi immediately noticed that Kakashi had stopped and paused as well, looking back at Kakashi.

“Is something wrong?”

Kakashi regarded Itachi for a moment.

“Itachi, I know that you are hurting.”

Itachi flushed, turning his body completely towards Kakashi.

“What do you mean?”

Kakashi gave Itachi a look before sighing and taking a step-in front of Itachi.

“I know that this might be the wrong time. But would you consider having dinner with me?”

Itachi blinked. It didn’t completely catch Itachi off guard. He had known for a while now that Kakashi was harboring feelings for him. However, Itachi had confided in Kakashi about Shisui’s reasons for their breakup. He told Kakashi about how jealous and insecure Kakashi had made Shisui feel. Kakashi even tried to defend their relationship to Shisui, but discovered that, like Itachi, he had been blocked. It shouldn’t surprise Itachi that Kakashi was finally making his move on Itachi.

It had been nearly three years since Shisui.

Itachi let his gaze linger on Kakashi. His mind was blank. Kakashi smiled softly and reached his hand forward to cup Itachi’s flushed cheek.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now. But, please consider it.”

Itachi nodded dumbly and allowed Kakashi to steer him towards his house and continue walking. Kakashi walked Itachi to the front door before leaning close and giving Itachi a peck on the cheek.

Innocent enough.

Itachi blushed and couldn’t meet Kakashi’s eyes.

“Please consider it.” Kakashi repeated. Itachi nodded.

Once inside Itachi made a dash for his room. He need space. He needed time. He didn’t have the energy to defend himself to Sasuke just yet. Itachi locked his door, letting himself slide to the floor. 

It would be a lie if Itachi claimed he wasn’t attracted to Kakashi.

Kakashi had been Itachi’s first real crush. 

Kakashi had been there for every pivotal moment in his life thus far.

Kakashi had brought his father justice.

Kakashi was… sexy.

Itachi shook his head. 

Guilt.

He felt it bubbling in his stomach. The guilt of getting with Kakashi. Confirming Shisui’s fears. Itachi blinked and then shook his head.

No.

So much time had passed. Itachi was quite sure that Shisui was hooking up with Obito again. He remembered when he first met Shisui and heard the rumors about Obito. He had been earing similar rumors from the other officers and knew that they were probably true. Shisui was a sort of playboy before Itachi.

Shisui had probably already moved on.

What would it matter if Itachi did too?

Itachi gulped, running his hand through his bangs.

He could picture Shisui’s angry face. The jealousy in his eyes. It was enough for Itachi to put the idea of Kakashi to bed. Almost.

Itachi wanted to kiss Kakashi. He wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to be intimate with him.

But Shisui…

Shisui was there. In his mind. He was still so in love with him. And why? Itachi thought with anger.

Shisui is gone.

He left without a second thought.

Just gone.

Itachi’s breathing was becoming erratic as he let himself think about moving on. Itachi had thought that he would marry Shisui.

And now?

Itachi took a deep breath, calming his breathing. Suddenly there was a knock at his door, causing Itachi to jump.

“Itachi? Is that you? You have some explaining to do!” Sasuke growled on the other side, jiggling the handle.

Itachi let out a tiny breath.


	8. Chapter 8

“I haven’t visited my dad in almost six years.”

Anko paused as she pulled her shirt over her head. She turned to face Shisui, who was pulling on his jeans, looking a little lost.

“What?” Anko mumbled, grabbing her own jeans, and tugging them on with a little more force than necessary.

Shisui looked back at Anko, the bed they had shared the night before lay between them. He held her gaze, while Anko got increasingly more annoyed. “I thought your dad was dead.” She said with a shrug and began fiddling with her unkempt hair.

Hair that Shisui always hated.

“He IS dead. I haven’t been to his grave for almost six years.” Shisui said with some annoyance.

Anko looked back at Shisui, her gaze soften. “Well, why not?” She said after a moment.

Shisui shrugged. “Just haven’t had time to get back to Konoha, I guess.” A lie. Shisui couldn’t bear the idea of going back to the city where he fell in love with Itachi. He had actively avoided returning home because he didn’t want a chance of running into Itachi or any of the Uchiha. But his father’s birthday was coming up. And the guilt he was feeling from that was becoming unbearable. He hated to admit it, but he should go back. He should visit his father’s grave.

Anko scoffed and put her hands on her hips. She was fully dressed now, her hair tossed up into a messy bun. Her makeup was slightly smeared around her eyes and mouth and she had a look of pure annoyance on her face. “You fucking liar.”

Shisui sighed and pulled on his own shirt. Anko was always like this. She always pushed and annoyed Shisui. But she also called him on his bullshit. It was both refreshing and annoying.

“Don’t sigh at me. You know I can’t stand the bullshit. You’re avoiding Konoha because of your little twerp?” 

Shisui felt a flicker of anger in his chest. He whirled around to face Anko. “No! You know shit has been crazy at the station!” Shisui spat. Anko rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, but it isn’t like you couldn’t ask Obito for some time off. You guys screw each other almost weekly. I’m sure your fuckbuddy would give you time off to visit you dad if you asked.” Anko said sourly. 

And she was right.

Shisui could just ask Obito for time off. He could imagine Obito’s face. A smirk and a tease, but he would let Shisui go. Shisui buried himself in work and Obito had been complaining that he needed to take a vacation. But he didn’t want to go to Konoha. He couldn’t see Itachi even if it had been nearly six years since they had split. Shisui sank back in his posture. He broke eye contact with Anko and let his eyes fall to the ground. He could sense Anko coming closer to him. She took hold of his shoulder and forced Shisui to meet her eye.

“Look, I don’ care what you do, but stop moping around here. Go see your dad. Go fuck your ex. Just stop being a crybaby all the time. It’s getting really old.” Anko huffed, but with a smirk on her face.

Now Shisui rolled his eyes. Anko gently punched his arm before she gathered her bag and headed for the door.

“See you next time, loser.”

\--

“You are going to Konoha?”

Shisui flinched a little and shifted nervously in his seat. He had gone into work that morning and went straight to Obito to tell him his plans. Even though Obito was mostly a headache, and a decent fuck, Shisui felt connected to him and yearned for his support. Even though it always came at a cost.

“I want to visit my dad. His birthday is coming up and I haven’t been back since… since Itachi.”

Obito rolled his eyes. “I thought that was a good thing?”

Shisui held Obito’s gaze but remained silent. Obito’s expression was unreadable, but his voice had an edge to it. He was clearly annoyed with Shisui.

“It’s my dad, Obito. I can’t keep avoiding him.”

Obito opened his mouth, possibly to say something offensive, but caught himself and let his mouth snap shut. He rubbed his hands over his face and glared at Shisui.

“I don’t want to be picking up your pieces when you get back, you hear me? You fuck around with Itachi and he breaks your heart again, don’t come crying to me.”

Now Shisui rolled his eyes. “That isn’t going to happen. I plan on avoiding him the entire time I’m there.”

Obito scoffed and lit a cigarette. “Oh, sure.”

“What is your problem?” Shisui finally snapped.

Obito eyed Shisui for a moment before blowing smoke into his face. “My problem is you, Shisui. You’re an idiot.”

“How?”

“Don’t you see?”

“No.” Shisui grumbled, crossing his arms to prevent himself from throwing a punch at Obito’s smug face.

Obito smirked at him, clearly noticing how he had gotten under Shisui’s skin. “You are about to fuck up six years of healing.”

“I am not.” Shisui hissed, feeling his desire to throttle Obito grow with every passing second.

“You are. And you don’t even see it.”

“I swear I won’t go looking for Itachi. I don’t want to see him.” Mostly true. Shisui couldn’t bear to look at Itachi, even after all this time. He felt ashamed of how he had acted and even more ashamed at how he had behaved since the breakup. Itachi was too good for this and too overwhelmed to be bogged down by Shisui’s shit again. And those were just facts.

Obito let out a little sigh. “I just care about you, man.” Obito finally mumbled, taking another drag of his cigarette.

Shisui softened a little. “I know.”

“Ah, yeah? You know? Then stop being an idiot.”

Shisui gave Obito a look and Obito let out a dark chuckle. “Fine. Go to Konoha. But, don’t come crying to me.”

“You already said this.” Shisui groaned, sliding his time off request form across the desk to Obito. Obito smirked and scribbled his name on the document before shoving it back towards Shisui.

“Are we done here?” Shisui asked, collecting his form, and moving to stand.

“Yeah.” Obito met Shisui’s gaze and held it. Shisui knew that Obito didn’t love him. It was more possessiveness and a familiar understanding of losing someone you loved. Even in their academy days, Obito had been drawn to Shisui because Shisui was so understanding of loss and being alone. Obito clung to Shisui like a raft in an angry sea and the fear of losing Shisui was simply selfish. Shisui knew this. He had always known that their desire to be with each other was selfish. On both ends. Shisui hated being alone too and Obito was more than willing to warm his bed at night because Obito hated being alone. And sure, they worked well together. The sex was great. They knew each other’s habits. Shit, Obito and Shisui even cooked for each other. But this was no relationship. They simply used each other and the thought of losing the person who understood this agreement had Obito on edge. 

“I mean it when I say I care about you.” Obito said softly.

Shisui nodded. Obito often got sentimental after he had been drinking. That was when Obito’s emotional barriers fell and he indulged in the thought of Rin. What they could have been. And sometimes he would indulge in the thought of Shisui and what they COULD be. When Obito was liquored up and sloppy, he would confess his desires to Shisui, often when they were having sex. It ended up being meaningless once the alcohol made its way out of Obito’s system. So Shisui never took anything he said too seriously. 

This, however, was different. They were at work. Obito was sober. Obito was being vulnerable and real to Shisui for the first time ever without being intoxicated. Shisui suddenly felt sweaty and nervous. He was at a loss of words. All Shisui could do was smile softly. “I care about you too.”

“Good, then come on over tonight so we can do the deed before you go and break your heart all over again.”

Shisui deadpanned as Obito erupted in laughter. Shisui whipped around, flashing Obito the middle finger as he stormed out of Obito’s office. As much as Shisui wanted to tell Obito to “fuck off” or tell him that he wouldn’t come over. Shisui knew he would.

It was habit at this point.

\--

Shisui left Obito’s house early in the morning. He had been lucky enough to sneak out before Obito had woken up. Shisui didn’t have the energy to deal with some last second teasing before he made the drive to Konoha. 

Shisui was tingling with anxiety as he drove. He body felt like it was on fire and his heart couldn’t stop pounding in his chest. The plan was simple: Get to Konoha and let Deidara know. Deidara would skin him alive if he found out that Shisui had made an appearance for the first time in six years without letting him know. Shisui also planned to ask Deidara if he could crash on his couch. He truly believed he would spend one day, two tops in Konoha. Deidara would be okay with that, Shisui hoped. Shisui’s father’s birthday was actually the next day, so Shisui would vest the grave, leave some flowers, talk a bit and the leave. Then he would just hide out with Deidara until he couldn’t take in anymore and drive back home. Sound plan. Shisui prayed he could avoid the Uchiha’s, especially Itachi.

As Shisui drove, he was so consumed with dread and anticipation that he hadn’t noticed that he was speeding. He was suddenly alerted to the fact when he noticed police lights flick on behind him. Shisui groaned. He wanted to remain under the radar until he got to Konoha. Shisui pulled his car over, praying that it was one of his old friends from the station. He was close enough to Konoha that he knew it would be someone from the station and he needed luck to be on his side here. Shisui prayed to any kind of God that it wasn’t Kakashi. Shisui had no idea how he would even act if he saw Kakashi.

“Oh shit, no way.” A gruff voice sounded next to Shisui. Shisui had been so lost in his prayers he didn’t even notice the broad figure that saddled up next to him. Shisui jumped nearly squeaked as he slowly turned to see who had spoken to him.

The man was tall, with sun kissed skin. He had a strong jaw and wild black hair. His expression was one of disgust and it took Shisui a minuet before he fully recognized the man before him.

“Sasuke?”

“Hello, Shisui. What brings you to town?”


	9. Chapter 9

Shisui never considered himself lucky. He never considered himself unlucky either. He didn’t even believe in luck, though he was called lucky many times throughout his life. No matter how bad a situation was, things always seemed to fallout in his favor. 

This, however. This was straight up bad luck. Terrible luck. The worst luck Shisui had ever experienced. Things could not have fallen out worse for him. Of all the cops to pull him over. Of all the friendly connections he still had at the station, it had to be Sasuke. Shisui squirmed under Sasuke’s piercing gaze. 

Sasuke had grown much taller than the last time Shisui had seen him. He was broad, the result of working out and being a cop, with tanned skin and the same dark eyes. So similar to Itachi’s, but with a hint of malice, currently directed at him. 

Sasuke’s already annoyed expression slipped into an even more annoyed look. He shifted his weight, bearing down on Shisui with a look of pure disgust. “Well? Going to answer my question?”

Shisui blinked, trying to find his voice. But he was frozen. Some cop he was. After all the training he had undergone, he felt like a small child in the presence of Sasuke. He gulped and lets his fingers flex against the steering wheel. He needed to say something, he could feel Sasuke’s rage pick up after every silent moment.

“You’re not here to see Itachi, right?”

The name rocked Shisui back to life. He shook his head quickly. “No.” He finally muttered, thankful that his voice didn’t shake. Sasuke raised a single brow, clearly not buying Shisui’s response. “Okay.” He replied, slowly, dangerously. “Then what brings you all the way back to Konoha?” 

Shisui could recall a time when he towered over Sasuke. Sasuke had always been a tall kid, rivaling Itachi in height for years, but Shisui was always taller and he always used that height to tease Sasuke. Never intimidate, for Sasuke was Itachi’s precious little brother, but he knew that it got under Sasuke’s skin. Now, he was positive that Sasuke was his height, maybe even taller. And he was leering at him, just as Shisui did back when Sasuke was younger. He felt intimidated. He could hardly maintain eye contact and his crow was becoming sweaty. 

“I’m here to see my dad.” Shisui finally mumbled. Sasuke blinked at that. Suddenly the murderous look dissolved into something that looked a little like sympathy if you squinted hard enough. Sasuke pulled back and pulled out his ticket pad.

“Regardless, I’m writing you up for speeding. You should know better.” His words laced with venom and he scribbled away. Shisui remained quiet, praying that this interaction would be over. Sasuke finished the ticket before slapping it into Shisui’s hands. “Slow down.” He grumbled and began making his way back to his patrol car. Shisui sighed, shakily looking down at the ticket before noticing that Sasuke was making his way back to the car.

“Shisui.” Sasuke said, coming to stand before Shisui again. Shisui looked up at Sasuke. Sasuke lowered down until he was eye to eye with Shisui. “Don’t come around Itachi. I mean it.” The threat was unspoken, but Shisui knew it was there. He nodded his head slowly, and Sasuke returned to his car, leaving Shisui sitting on the side of the road, desperately trying to calm his erratic breathing. 

Once Shisui’s breathing had slowed to an acceptable pace, he decided he better call Deidara and tell him he was just outside of town. 

“Officer Deidara.”

“Hey, it’s me.”

A laugh. “I knew it was you, Shisui. W have caller ID. To what do I owe the pleasure? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Shisui smiled weakly, glancing out his window. “I’m actually in town. Was wondering if I could crash on your couch for a night or two.”

Deidara was silent on the other end.

“You’re actually in town?”

“Yes.” Shisui muttered. Had it really been that long?

“Well, I’ll be damned. Never thought I’d see the day. Where are you? Let’s grab a drink and catch up?” The excitement in his voice mad Shisui’s heart hurt. Shisui reflected on how he essentially turned his back on Deidara and his other friends at the station after the breakup. He straight refused to be in Konoha for six years and he was really starting to feel guilty about that.

“I’m about 15 from Main Street.” Shisui said.

“Great! Let’s meet at the pub. Can’t wait to see you, man!”

Shisui hung up and took a shaky breath. He knew that seeing Sasuke was probably a sign of things to come. Itachi was there. He was around. How long could Shisui avoid him until the fates brought them together again? Could Shisui handle that? Shisui closed his eyes and gulped nervously. He would have to. He made his bed, and he would have to lay in it. If he saw Itachi, he would be nothing but kind. Maybe he could apologize, and they could be friends. 

Yes, friends.

Not lovers. Not soulmates.

Friends.

Just friends.

Shisui opened his eyes and started his car. He prayed he didn’t run into Itachi.

\--

The pub was just as dingy and warm as Shisui remembered. Their usual table in the back beside the pool tables was open and they slid into the booth, drinks sloshing in the glasses. Deidara was overjoyed to see Shisui, telling him about his life and station life. Shisui was more reserved, talking about station life and particular cases, but all together avoiding his personal life.

‘So, you seeing anyone?” Deidara asked setting another beer down Infront of Shisui.

Shisui grinned slowly and shrugged. “There is a girl I’ve been seeing.” He said after a moment.

Deidara smirked. “Yeah? Tell me about her? What is she like?”

Shisui took a swig of beer and leaned back against the dingy leather of the booth. “She’s… she’s…” Anko was a riot. She was loud and tomboyish. She called Shisui on his shit and didn’t care if his feeling were hurt in the process. She wasn’t the jealous type, she had her own side flings, just as Shisui had his side thing with Obito. She was rough around the edges. Her demeanor was almost the exact opposite of Itachi, who was sweet and demure. With his kitten face and large eyes. Anko was a big mouth and choppy hair. “She’s a wild one.” Shisui eventually said.

Deidara laughed, a hearty, true laugh. “What is her name?”

“Anko.”

“And are you and Anko serious?”

This time Shisui laughed. “Oh, no. Not at all. She is just, fun. We have fun.” Shisui shrugged.

Deidara eyed Shisui for a moment. “Obito still in the picture?” Shisui flinched. He took a sip of his beer, keeping his eyes lowered. Deidara pressed on. “I can tell, you know. Your neck is covered in hickies. Just like back in the day. Obito loves to mark you.” Shisui reached up to touch his raw neck. His face was turning red at the thought that Sasuke had seen these hickies. But, what did it matter? Shisui sighed. “Yeah, I’m still seeing him from time to time.”

Deidara said nothing and took a drink. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two and Shisui was almost angry that Deidara ruined the moment like that. Shisui let out a sigh and leveled Deidara with a look. Well, the mood was already ruined, might as well add salt to the wound.

‘So… how is Itachi?”

Deidara looked up at Shisui with shock. His mouth twisted to the side and he took a sip.

“You want to talk about that?”

“Hey, I brought down the mood anyway. Might as well…” Shisui said, leaning forward on the table.

Deidara picked at a loose thread on his cuff, eyes downcast. “I don’t know, man.”

“Oh, come on. It’s been six years. Indulge me. I mean, fuck, I saw Sasuke pulled me over today. The least you owe me is a little gossip.”

Deidara laughed. “No shit, Sasuke pulled you over?”

“It wasn’t funny. He practically threatened my life for being here.”

Deidara laughed again and the mood was suddenly lighter. “Okay, well if you are sure you can have this discussion without freaking out.”

Shisui nodded. Deidara took a gusty breath and a sip of his drink. “Well, Itachi is a doctor, I’m sure you could have guessed that.”

Shisui smiled, a true smile. Of course, Itachi was a doctor. He was brilliant and kind and of course. Of course. Of course. 

“He stayed with Mikoto and Sasuke up until about two years ago. He moved out on his own, bought a house not too far from his mom. Mikoto is doing really well, too.” Deidara added, smiling slightly. “She visits the station every so often, brings in fresh baked treats. It’s so nice to still see her, you know? After Fugaku passed, I thought she would avoid the station.”

Shisui nodded. It was very obvious that everyone down at the station loved Mikoto. She was always kind and supportive. Always bringing food to the officers. It was nice to hear that she was still coming around. Shisui smiled.

“I mean that’s all I really know. Itachi comes around often. He meets with Sasuke for lunch and stuff.” Deidara suddenly looked uncomfortable. “But he’s mostly just working. He’s doing a lot of good.” Shisui stared at Deidara for a moment, as Deidara squirmed a little under his gaze. Shisui looked down at his beer and then back at Deidara. “Is Itachi seeing anyone?” Deidara didn’t even look at Shisui as he shook his head. “Nope. Not a good idea, man. Just leave it.”

Shisui frowned. “Why?”

Deidara leveled Shisui with a dry look. “You can’t handle this shit.”

“Yes, I can.”

Deidara scoffed. “Are you forgetting how you behaved the last time you were in town? How you treated Itachi for just thinking there was someone else? I’m not going to talk to you about your ex-boyfriend and his love life.”

Shisui crossed his arms over his chest. “I can handle it. It’s different now.”

“How?” Deidara sneered.

“How? I moved! I’m in a relationship! It’s been years!” Shisui’s voice was almost at the point of yelling. People in the pub were staring back at the table, and Deidara gave them all a weak smile before turning back to Shisui.

“You fucking idiot. Keep it down. Jesus.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m some emotional idiot. I have moved on and healed from Itachi. It’s only natural that I am curious.” Shisui hoped that was true.

Deidara stared at Shisui for a long moment before letting his head drop and sighing. “Are you sure?” He said weakly. Shisui gulped. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Deidara sat tall, looking Shisui dead in the eye. “Itachi is seeing someone.”

Shisui had been anticipating it, but the actual confirmation was like a punch to the gut. He sucked in a breath and nodded slightly, desperate to keep his facial expressions to a minimum. Deidara was smart though and caught the look of pain on Shisui’s face. “You sure this is okay?” Deidara pressed on. Shisui took a moment, looking up at Deidara and nodded.

“Well, that’s it. He is seeing someone. Is there anything else?” Deidara asked hesitantly.

Shisui knew he should just stop asking questions. The knowledge that someone else was kissing Itachi and loving him made Shisui feel ill, even after all this time. He should just take this and drop it. Because it was true. He didn’t live here anymore. He had other relationships. It had been many years. Still… Shisui was a masochist. 

“Who is it?” Shisui’s voice came out ragged and dry.

Deidara’s face twisted up in a look of agony. “Come on, man. You don’t need to know that.”

“I do. I need to know.”

Deidara was silent for a moment. “Kakashi.”

Shisui couldn’t control his face this time. He was shocked. Blown away. Stunned. He whipped his face up to look at Deidara who looked uncomfortable. Kakashi? So, his insecurities from all those years ago were right? Kakashi and Itachi? Shisui felt as though he was going to vomit.

“I’m sorry, man. I know that is the last person you wanted to hear.” Deidara said softly, reaching out to comfortingly touch Shisui’s shoulder. Shisui stayed still, eyes wide, looking down at his beer. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. However, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kakashi, fucking Itachi. Kakashi touching Itachi. Kakashi kissing Itachi. Shisui straightened up after a moment and chugged his beer. He looked over at Deidara who was returning his look with a look of concern.

“Shots?”

\--

Shisui woke the next morning, groggy and hungover. He was sprawled out on Deidara’s living room couch, a glass of water near his head. He grumbled pulling himself up and taking a sip of the water, immediately comforted by the crisp, cool beverage. 

“You up?” Deidara called from the hallway as he made his way towards Shisui. Shisui adjusted himself on the couch. “Unfortunately.”

Deidara let out a small laugh. “Well, you went hard as fuck last night. Not surprised that you’re hurting this morning.” Deidara handed Shisui a couple of pills and Shisui accepted them with glee. “So, what’s the plan?” Deidara asked, taking a seat next to Shisui. Shisui rubbed his face. 

“I got to go see me dad.”

“Right. Well, I’m off to work. Thanks to you, asshole, I’m hungover as shit too.” Deidara gently punched Shisui’s shoulder. Shisui remained passive, eyes lowered towards the floor. Deidara softened. “I’ll see you later, okay? Tell your dada I said hi.” Shisui nodded and rose to ready himself for the day.

Shisui hadn’t been to his father’s grave in so long, he thought that he should bring the man some flowers or something. Shisui was on his way to the graveyard when he stopped into one of Konoha’s local markets to pickup some flowers to put on the grave. He was standing in line, zoning out on his phone when he felt a presence come and stand behind him.

“Shisui, is that you?”

Shisui whirled around to see Mikoto beaming up at him. Shisui gasped slightly. Mikoto hadn’t aged a day since he had last seen her. Still so small and petite with beautiful, long dark hair, so similar to Itachi. She smiled at him with nothing but love and it made Shisui feel guilty.

“Mikoto? God, you look great!” Shisui couldn’t help but utter. She smiled and then, shockingly, embraced Shisui. She trembled a little in her grasp, pulling away after a moment.

“What on Earth are you doing here?” She asked, adjusting her basket of groceries.

“Oh, it’s my dad’s birthday today. Thought I would bring him some flowers.” Shisui motioned to the daisies in his hand. Mikoto smiled softly at him. “Ah, I see.” Shisui nodded, feeling uncomfortable in her presence. Did she hate him? Was she only pretending to be nice? The silence between them stretched on for a moment.

“Shisui, if you don’t mind, would you meet me for coffee?”

Shisui blinked and swallowed hard. “When?”

“Today. Right now. Once I finish shopping. There is a divine café right next door.”

Shisui shuffled nervously. Every fiber of his being was screaming no, but he couldn’t vocalize it. Mikoto was staring at him with her deep, dark eyes and he felt powerless. “Okay.” He mumbled with a weak smile.

“Wonderful!” Mikoto said with a smile. “I am almost done here, if you just want to mee me there?”

“Sounds good.”

Mikoto smiled and turned back to resume her shopping. Shisui bought the flowers but decided to hang around the front of the store until Mikoto was done. As she finished paying, Shisui approached her and carried her groceries, for which she was delighted he had offered. They walked silently to the café and took a seat in the back. Shisui offered to buy the coffee and Mikoto rejected the offer. Once she carried over his coffee and her tea she settled down in her seat and smiled at Shisui.

“Shisui, it’s good to see you.”

Shisui smiled. “Good to see you too.”

“Tell me, how are things? It’s been too long.”

“Things have been… fine. You know, lots of work…Mostly work.”

“Ah.” Mikoto hummed, taking sip of her tea. 

“How about you? How are things?”

“Oh, busy.” Mikoto said with a laugh. “Just doing a lot all at once. Hard to slow down. But good. Sasuke is working at the station, which I’m sure you know. He is doing great there. Really fits in with the other officers. Fugaku would have been so proud of him.” She smiled sadly. Shisui felt guilty. “I don’t know if you heard, but Itachi is a doctor. God, he is so brilliant. He just loves it. Loves helping people. His father would be so proud of him too.” She said with a sigh. Shisui frowned slightly.

“I head about Itachi. That’s great. I’m happy he achieved his dream.” Shisui tried to say it with some lightness, but it came out choppy. Mikoto lifted her eyes to meet his. She smiled and Shisui looked at his coffee. 

“I’m sorry, Mikoto.”

“For what?”

Shisui shifted in his seat. “For not calling. For not being there. Fugaku was like a second dad to me… and I just…” Mikoto reached across the table and grabbed Shisui’s hand. “Hey, it’s okay. I know a lot of things happened in the past. Fugaku knows that you love him. I know that you love him. And me. Don’t apologize.” The admission only made Shisui feel even worse. He sunk in his seat a little. Mikoto brought her hand back to her lap and kept an eye on Shisui as she sipped on her tea. After a few moments, she cleared her throat.

“You know, Shisui, I’m not sure what happened between you and Itachi. I know a lot of things were alluded to, but I don’t know the real story. What I do know is, the breakup was very hard for Itachi.” Shisui flinched at that. “I can only imagine it was just as hard for you.”

Shisui wanted to cry. He had hurt so many people. But Itachi was with Kakashi. His fears had come true. A flicker of anger caused Shisui to snap his head up. “I was right about Kakashi and Itachi’s relationship. I was insecure back then, and apparently, I was right to. I heard that they are dating.” The last part came over very bitter.

Mikoto blinked in surprise. “Oh, Shisui. That’s not… Itachi and Kakashi only just started seeing each other.”

“What?”

Mikoto nodded her head. “Yes, Kakashi asked Itachi out a few years back, but Itachi rejected him. Itachi hasn’t dated anyone but you up until a few weeks ago.”

Shisui’s mouth fell open at this. So, he had been wrong? This whole time? He had thought that the minuet Shisui left town, Kakashi and Itachi had hopped into bed together. But, know that Itachi hand been alone for years rocked Shisui. He suddenly gripped the table, feeling his face pale. Mikoto gently touched his hand.

“I know Itachi wouldn’t want me to do this, but Itachi changed his number a few years back. Maybe you should give him a call. Just talk?” Mikoto said softly. Shisui’s heart was pounding as he looked at her. The thought that Itachi changed his number made Shisui think that Itachi was trying to avoid Shisui. “Maybe that isn’t a good idea.” Mikoto didn’t say anything as she wrote down and number and slid it to Shisui. “Maybe not. I just know how heartbroken Itachi was. And, Shisui, I know you are hurting too.” Her eyes danced over Shisui’s exposed neck and he felt his face turn pink with embarrassment. “Think about getting closure. Both of you.”

With that, Mikoto rose from her seat, she gave Shisui a kiss on the head before she gathered her groceries. “Don’t be a stranger, Shisui.”

\--

Shisui stared down at his father’s grave, that surprisingly had been well taken care of, considering he hadn’t been here in years. Itachi’s number was burning a hole in his pocket, but Shisui couldn’t bring himself to even look at it. He placed the flowers on the grave and settled in on his knees.

“Jesus, dad. I came to say happy birthday, but now…” Shisui let out a sigh. “What do I do?”

A part of Shisui wanted to throw the napkin with Itachi’s number away. He had spent years numbing himself to Itachi. This would just be painful. Itachi wasn’t even single. What would calling him accomplish? Their time had come and go. Shisui had let him go six years ago. On the other hand, it felt like a sign from the gods. Maybe this was their second shot? Maybe this time they could get it right? Itachi had been single for years. And why? Itachi was a catch. There were plenty of men and women who were throwing themselves at him. Why did he remain single for so long? Was he waiting on Shisui to come back? Could that be it?

Shisui shook his head. He couldn’t afford to get ahead of himself here.

Closure. Mikoto had mentioned closure. For both of them. Maybe it would help.

Shisui looked down at the grave before him. He brushed off some dirt and adjusted the flowers. Moments passed until Shisui realized he had been on his knees for an hour just staring blankly down at the grave. He sat back and slowly got to his feet. He looked down at the grave once more and took a shaky breath. Shisui slowly reached into his pocket and pulled the pink napkin out. He opened up to see the number written elegantly across it.

“Okay, dad. Here we go.”


End file.
